The Path less noticed.

I was told that my purpose is to work with kids and having babies. So simple and yet so profound to me. I am a big kid. I love to have fun. I love to make things fun. Life is way too short not to try and have fun in all that you do. I've been like that my whole life. Why would anyone not want to have fun with everything? I was told the my path is there so stop looking and lusting after something more.

A few business ventures I was a part of fell out of my life. Logically they made sense but over time they never really settled in my heart and I wasn't having fun with them. So like most things when it still failed after heart wrenching fights, I let them go. But here's the thing about that. I only left bad for a day and then I felt free.

In conversations when people let certain aches in their life go, it frees them. It gives them peace in their heart. I let go of the idea that I had to "find", "search" or hunt down my path, so that when I found it, I would know. But just like in dating, when you stop looking someone gets dropped into your lap. (also during this reread I realized I'm already on my path so just stop seeking).

So here I am. I am still intrigued on how my life will start to unravel and reveal itself to me. I no longer search on how it will happen. Nor do I know how I will actually be working with kids. It could be in a million different ways from mentoring to art. Who knows? He, the One, knows and that's all I need to know.

I haven't felt so free in such a long time. I've always been one to handle my life. To make every little decision. Also, at the same time I let the wind take me where it wanted. In each experience I learned so much about not only myself, but those in the world around me. Those who try and control every little thing in their world and the world around them end up miserable. But those who just let the universe flow in, out and around them are the happiest. I've been knowing and relearning these principles for 20 years now. And time and time again I have to be reminded. LET GO!

I want the world to accept me, but first I have to accept the world. I am no more in control of anything except getting up, brushing me teeth, feeding the dog and putting on a smile. I will do what I love, whatever randomness that may be. I'll sit in silence and watch the world drive itself mad. I will love those around me. I will let the universe flow the life it wants me to have. And yes, I will continue to blog it all.

Universely yours, Merry Ms Berry

Realizations

It's not supposed to be killer hard to live life. We make it harder on ourselves then it really needs to be. We all do it.

God giveth and God taketh away.

These words constantly rings in my ears.

I had gotten away from the "silver lining game" I grew up with. If you don't appreciate something, it will either leave or be taken away from you. It's a pretty simple concept. I was told these words and it hit me hard. Yes, I was willing to give it all away even though I didn't want to. I was willing to fight for my happiness but I needed to be sure that my other half was willing to fight for his also, together.

I let the world beat me up. I listened to others gripe and let it settle in my heart. I said "why not me". Why can't I be bitter and ungrateful? Then I took a step back and had to think to myself, did I really want to lose the wonderful life I have? I fought so hard to get here. I knew I would be fine wherever I ended up. But did I want to end up somewhere else, alone?

I couldn't even tell you when or how I got off track. I did everything right to have the things that I have. And I'm not saying mansions and sports cars, but I would love me a muscle car. But I have a secure life and home with everything I need to meet my needs and have no stress tailing me. Now how many people can say that?

Why did I stop count my blessings? I guess at one point I didn't feel appreciated and the grass looked greener on the other side. But true to wonderful man fashion, hubby came back to me and started loving me how I needed it. He's wonderful. We are working on the same team. This whole marriage thing is a tough nut to crack.

So here I am. A little bit wiser. A little bit lighter. A whole lot happier. And fulfilled from within at all the blessings I'm surrounded with. I'm able to love those in my life and make them smile. Which is my favorite thing to do. I don't know what the world brings in the future but its doesn't matter. I am at peace right now with what it is. Like my Elisha says, Love never quits. It's true. Love from above, love from them, love that you have to give to yourself and love for others. It's the meaning of life. Love more, receive more. Love them, love you, love it, love love. It's like a hum of a mom rocking her baby to sleep. I could hear it all the time. It makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

Lovingly yours, Truly Merry Ms Berry