I am 41 weeks pregnant and my little guy is getting served his eviction notice on Monday. Sometimes I think knowing the exact moment your life is going to change is more nerve racking then when it just happens with no preconceived notion of it.
In January, 2015 I have traveled to Puerto Rico, took 3 planes from 4 different airports to get there in the dead of winter when it was 3 degrees outside. A great way to start to rebuilding my marriage that hung by the threads of mistrust, pain and heart break. I recommend traveling to Puerto Rico in the middle of winter. The sands, sun and water were the perfect blanket of warmth to mend frozen hearts, amongst the alcohol fueled adventures and the passion filled rooms.
In February I became pregnant with our first child. My pregnancy itself was pretty great. I didn't go all bipolar, psycho, cry at every moment. On the contrary I found most things very humorous. Except the changes to my body. If you know any of the real me, you know that I'm vain, self conscious and slightly insecure about how I look and I prefer to be cute and fit. Well, add months of cheese fries and milkshakes and all that fit and hotness goes right out the window. So be it.
In June I had to put my best friend of 14, my fur baby, the one creature that loved me unconditionally, to sleep. I still cry at least once a week. I miss my Zoey beyond words. I am not going to go into details on why she had to go, but it was time. It came on hard and fast, and she was not going to suffer out of my own selfishness of wanting her around. Everyone she met loved her. For a dog, she had the biggest and silliest personality.
In August I sold my purple "brat mobile" Monte Carlo. 10 years and almost 200k miles, she was a ticking time bomb of car repairs and it was, also, her time to go. In her place we bought a 4 door, sparkly white, turbocharged mom-mobile. Her name is Snowflake. Though her personality is not as big as the "brat mobile's" she is a good, fast car and we look forward to making hundreds, if not thousands of memories in her.
In September I traveled to the desert to paint watercolor paintings in old silver mining towns.
From the most epic of baby showers to painting the whole house, my life has been a constant change. I am blessed in so many ways and yet overwhelmed with all that is about to continue to happen. The things that meant so much to me that began new chapters in my life, Zoey, the brat mobile, are gone but opened new chapters. I'm sad because I miss them but probably more so because the new chapters aren't written yet.
On a lighter note, I have been told numerous times that I don't look 10 months pregnant. Yes, 10! It's supposed to be a full 9 months, but in all actually it's 40 weeks which is 10 months.
I'm nervous, I'm sad, I'm scared, I'm excited, I am someone new that gets to experience a new life with no fucking clue what to expect. But the baby's room is beautiful so I have that.
I will be back.
Below is a picture of my contractions and little man's movements from a couple weeks ago. Funny how it's reflects the look of a rollercoaster.
