October 31, 2011
Comments welcome!
I don't and will never claim to know everything of anything. Including the ramblings of my blog. If you by chance glance and a particular subject and feel that you I am either wrong, totally off base or just need more information please please please feel comment. I love comments! Good, bad or indifferent. We are all entitled to have JUST AN OPINION. Use it here! Please do! I want to here it.
October 20, 2011
Turing a bad day good by looking cute
I am about "the cute"!!! Here's the thing about being cute, it never fades. You can only be sexy for so long. Stuff starts to sag and you can't wear liquid black eyeliner forever (tear). But looking cute is 100% possible at any age. Whether be a new lip gloss, a pair of jeans that makes your ass look fabulous or taking a little bit of extra time on your hair, cute is the way to go.
Why do I bring this up? Because when I have a really bad day and I feel really bad about myself on the inside I make doublely sure that the outside of me looks fabulous. Why? When I hurt on the inside I can't hide it on the outside. I wear all my emotions square in the puss, no hiding NOTHING with me. I'd rather not scare people away with an angry scowl. Instead I want to be as approachable and eye catching fabulous as possible. Below was one of these days.
On this particular day I put on a pair of brand new skinny jeans (the only pair I own), my 4 inch, grey suede slouchy boots, with a low cut top and my new push up bra. I straighten my hair and make sure my eye makeup with fabulous! Head to toe I was frickin' HOT! And guess where I actually had to go? Menards!!! Ha! I went to the local home improvement store to return hardware and buy spray paint.
Here's my theory on why what I do works. If the outside of you looks fabulous (and you know it) then you are more apt to get attention from others, even if it's just an envious glance of why their butts can't look this good. Getting verbal (or non verbal) validation helps boosts your spirits about who you are on the inside. I am a sucker for good attention. If I look cute, I have NO problems taking compliments. ((((no flash photography please)))) And doesn't everybody love to get a little attention? Yes WE DO!
Now a warning! This is not a cure all!!!! This is meant to fix a temporary bad day. If you are having deeper issues with yourself please consult a licenced physician or your bff with a good bottle of wine. At the end of my day I had talked over a few things with the hubby and I began to feel better about myself. (Insert regular jeans & t-shirt)Yes, I have a lot of work to go, but I got real, loving validation from my honey and it had nothing to do with the shade of lipstick I was wearing. Also, he knows if I'm wearing red lipstick, it means I'm out for blood and to crush some souls (figuratively of course, can't ruin my new boots).
So ladies or anyone for that matter, if you feel great on the inside it will show on the outside. If you look great on the outside, it might seep in to the inside. Might! Make sure you are taking the time to really love the person that you are and all that makes you, you! There will always be hiccups along the way and with us constantly changing as we grow older, it's best to stay on top of you. Shit, I'm not the same lady I was 10 years ago and that's ok but I forgot to remind myself that I'm still a bad ass if I need to be. (walk, talk and slap a bitch with ponytail if need be)
Fabulously yours, Merry Ms Berry
Why do I bring this up? Because when I have a really bad day and I feel really bad about myself on the inside I make doublely sure that the outside of me looks fabulous. Why? When I hurt on the inside I can't hide it on the outside. I wear all my emotions square in the puss, no hiding NOTHING with me. I'd rather not scare people away with an angry scowl. Instead I want to be as approachable and eye catching fabulous as possible. Below was one of these days.
On this particular day I put on a pair of brand new skinny jeans (the only pair I own), my 4 inch, grey suede slouchy boots, with a low cut top and my new push up bra. I straighten my hair and make sure my eye makeup with fabulous! Head to toe I was frickin' HOT! And guess where I actually had to go? Menards!!! Ha! I went to the local home improvement store to return hardware and buy spray paint.
Here's my theory on why what I do works. If the outside of you looks fabulous (and you know it) then you are more apt to get attention from others, even if it's just an envious glance of why their butts can't look this good. Getting verbal (or non verbal) validation helps boosts your spirits about who you are on the inside. I am a sucker for good attention. If I look cute, I have NO problems taking compliments. ((((no flash photography please)))) And doesn't everybody love to get a little attention? Yes WE DO!
Now a warning! This is not a cure all!!!! This is meant to fix a temporary bad day. If you are having deeper issues with yourself please consult a licenced physician or your bff with a good bottle of wine. At the end of my day I had talked over a few things with the hubby and I began to feel better about myself. (Insert regular jeans & t-shirt)Yes, I have a lot of work to go, but I got real, loving validation from my honey and it had nothing to do with the shade of lipstick I was wearing. Also, he knows if I'm wearing red lipstick, it means I'm out for blood and to crush some souls (figuratively of course, can't ruin my new boots).So ladies or anyone for that matter, if you feel great on the inside it will show on the outside. If you look great on the outside, it might seep in to the inside. Might! Make sure you are taking the time to really love the person that you are and all that makes you, you! There will always be hiccups along the way and with us constantly changing as we grow older, it's best to stay on top of you. Shit, I'm not the same lady I was 10 years ago and that's ok but I forgot to remind myself that I'm still a bad ass if I need to be. (walk, talk and slap a bitch with ponytail if need be)
Fabulously yours, Merry Ms Berry
October 10, 2011
One for awhile....
I have about a dozen posts that I've started, some with just titles, some with actual content that needs revising, finishing and posting. Here's the thing, I will be going over all of them, seeing which ones are actually important to be out in the world and then I'm taking a break.
I've come to some really hard realizations about myself, my personality, my little quirks and how my obsessive, need to be bigger, better, faster than who I am now stems from when I was way younger. I had a mini-meltdown over the weekend. Within this meltdown, I noticed that all the things I was expecting from the world I, also, need to start expecting from myself or not expect and just let go.
Last week I started writing a book. A book on how the effects of my relationships helped shape the person I am today, and how I thought I was successful to knowing when I found the person I am meant to be with. The first major part of this book started with my dad. I started writing in present form, a tense that I am not very familiar nor comfortable with. It was like I was reliving being 6, 10 and 16 years all over again. Though I am at peace with my father and his passing, I started to realize that my love for change, my inability to appreciate stillness, stability and a calm existence is in result of my dad. My passions for constantly learning new things, the idea my life isn't good enough, and thoughts that I must help others and ultimately change the world, are also caused from the past of inconsistencies, the stress of having to be perfect and putting everyone else's needs in front of my own. Yes, emotionally I am past the pain and anger from my past. But it came to a complete shock to how those incidences left, possibly, permanent mark in my personality.
On top of the whole "daddy issue thing", I was feeling this huge disconnect from my hubby, couple that with running into one of my ex's. AND not just an ex, "the ex", my ex-fiance. My first love and first person that I said I would spend the rest of my life with. After that and a day alone with nothing but my thoughts left to question my being as a whole. The thing about "the ex" is that the issues that I had with him, I would never have with my hubby. But the issues that I would never have with the ex, are the ones that I am having with my hubby. It's like trying to pull a piece of thread off your sweater and unraveling the whole damned thing.
So this is what I've come up with. I have a lot of emotional recall that I have to do. Before I can ever write about having or even getting close to being in a healthy marriage, I have to sort out my own demons. Hopefully my hubby will be on board with that and will pick up the pieces while I try to sort through the mess. I never claimed to be perfect, especially in my relationships. I really only claimed that I was the queen of dating, because yes I was a badass. Funny thought!!! My ability to morph into someone's dream girl and making them fall in love with me was a bi-product of my past. Stupid spiderweb on interconnecting like madness.
So from all of this, I also have to ask myself, did my husband really know who he fell in love with? Did I set us up for failure? Was I going along on false pretenses? I am the person I want to be or the person I think I should be? Is hubby my soul mate, and if not how will I know and should I stay if down line we just don't fit together?
So with this time away I will be focusing on me and my book. Time away because I know diving into the past is going to be a hard, tormentous, and hopefully liberating time for me. I need to focus on me so I come out even better and wiser to be able to love you.
Shakingly yours, Merry Ms"guided" Berry
I've come to some really hard realizations about myself, my personality, my little quirks and how my obsessive, need to be bigger, better, faster than who I am now stems from when I was way younger. I had a mini-meltdown over the weekend. Within this meltdown, I noticed that all the things I was expecting from the world I, also, need to start expecting from myself or not expect and just let go.
Last week I started writing a book. A book on how the effects of my relationships helped shape the person I am today, and how I thought I was successful to knowing when I found the person I am meant to be with. The first major part of this book started with my dad. I started writing in present form, a tense that I am not very familiar nor comfortable with. It was like I was reliving being 6, 10 and 16 years all over again. Though I am at peace with my father and his passing, I started to realize that my love for change, my inability to appreciate stillness, stability and a calm existence is in result of my dad. My passions for constantly learning new things, the idea my life isn't good enough, and thoughts that I must help others and ultimately change the world, are also caused from the past of inconsistencies, the stress of having to be perfect and putting everyone else's needs in front of my own. Yes, emotionally I am past the pain and anger from my past. But it came to a complete shock to how those incidences left, possibly, permanent mark in my personality.
On top of the whole "daddy issue thing", I was feeling this huge disconnect from my hubby, couple that with running into one of my ex's. AND not just an ex, "the ex", my ex-fiance. My first love and first person that I said I would spend the rest of my life with. After that and a day alone with nothing but my thoughts left to question my being as a whole. The thing about "the ex" is that the issues that I had with him, I would never have with my hubby. But the issues that I would never have with the ex, are the ones that I am having with my hubby. It's like trying to pull a piece of thread off your sweater and unraveling the whole damned thing.
So this is what I've come up with. I have a lot of emotional recall that I have to do. Before I can ever write about having or even getting close to being in a healthy marriage, I have to sort out my own demons. Hopefully my hubby will be on board with that and will pick up the pieces while I try to sort through the mess. I never claimed to be perfect, especially in my relationships. I really only claimed that I was the queen of dating, because yes I was a badass. Funny thought!!! My ability to morph into someone's dream girl and making them fall in love with me was a bi-product of my past. Stupid spiderweb on interconnecting like madness.
So from all of this, I also have to ask myself, did my husband really know who he fell in love with? Did I set us up for failure? Was I going along on false pretenses? I am the person I want to be or the person I think I should be? Is hubby my soul mate, and if not how will I know and should I stay if down line we just don't fit together?
So with this time away I will be focusing on me and my book. Time away because I know diving into the past is going to be a hard, tormentous, and hopefully liberating time for me. I need to focus on me so I come out even better and wiser to be able to love you.
Shakingly yours, Merry Ms"guided" Berry
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