Recently I had a conversation with a friend that I've known since I was 16. He's one of those people who is too smart for his own damned good. At one point in our lives we had been very close and after a couple of years that ended. Though he has an IQ of 150+ his EQ hasn't quite caught up just yet. Have you ever noticed that you could sit and talk to a genius about everything except moving through the past and dealing with emotions?
Within this conversation I told him how much of a force of nature that he truly is. Then, he proceeds to tell me that he believes people when they say that he's not living up to his potential. Now, I grew up with that saying. I LOATHE THAT SAYING. It's like telling someone that they have a great personality when you don't want to call them pretty. Parents, peers and teachers do not realize that telling a child that they are not living up to their potential is basically telling them that they are not good enough. Even though they have the best of intentions when they say these things, why do they think that they know how to live our lives? Do we ever know? Isn't doing our best at something we love really living up to OUR potential?
I was told this many times. I was always the black sheep and did what felt right and not what others did (and I was great at it). It was at one point in my life that I started doing things that was expected of me, only to get sucked into the bullshit of the 9-5, gerbil wheel, made to feel worthless positions in life. But since everyone else was doing it, I was expected to suffer along with them. When I was going to school for art, had a long distance boyfriend and worked full time in the service industry I had more money than a 19 year old really should have to deal with. A few years later I tried to live up to the potential that others put in front of me. Only to because vanilla, grey, dead inside and either broke from money or broke from time. A little piece of my started to die. Talk about inner torment. Live for others and you will die by their hands. Live for yourself and light the path for others to shine! (man this good stuff right there!)
My genius friend is now and continues to believe that he's not living up to his potential. Could he take over the world, I'm sure with the right vehicle he could and should. He is one of those people you thrive to be around, but getting close is so hard you ache to know him. But then he'll push you away with words that cut you like a knife. He is one of those you hate to love and love to hate.
As we continued to chat I asked him why? Why does he believe that he's not good enough now? With all that he's experience to know, he's lived life more than people that are 70. From relationships, to moving, to loss and health issues, he's always come out on top and never once ever asked for help. Alas, he is doomed to suffer living somewhere outside of today.
Who do we think we are telling people that are missing their mark? Let's think about this. Who's potential are we supposed to be living up to? What exactly are we supposed to be doing to live up to something? Why is just being present in the now not good enough for some people?
I think about how the course of my life could have changed if I had gone to a different school, if I didn't mean this or that person, or if I didn't go on this date or that. I think about these things when I'm bored and doze off into lala land. It means nothing because I bring myself back to reality and see how it all panned out. I see how all the little threads of my life interconnected themselves through the good, the bad, the insane and the weird to become my now. It's truly wonderful to see.
Everything and anything has the potential to change. The earth has the potential to explode. I have the potential to become a porn star. A truck has the potential to hit me on the way home. Everything has potential, but it's fake.......it's not real. You can't grab potential. You can only use it to maybe help guide you into the future. Never listen to someone else's idea of your potential. Do we all have the room to grow and change, of course, but this is our only constant and it's up to ONLY us to figure that out.
Potentially yours (JK).......Lovingly yours, Merry (fired up) Ms Berry
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