A fart in the wind!

Again, I have decided to close the door on a relationship. I've had said person in my life for as long as I have been alive. We had grown up together, our moms had grown up together and our grandmothers traveled together during WWII. You might be asking yourself what horrible, indescribable thing did someone with that kind of family history had done to deserve to end a friendship? Well, I let her take advantage of me for the last time. And then when I told her how I felt she defended her poor actions and did not take responsibility for them, in the beginning. It was after quite a few heated emails that when my seriousness of the situation became relevant in her mind. Even now, she does not believe in her mind that I had any right to get upset to the magnitude that I had and that since she's "like family" and it's the holiday that I have to forgive her. Well....I don't have to do shit! You would think that I would be above being bitter and if this was a first time offense I totally would be. I'm all about accepting apologies and moving forward, but in this case she's a repeat offender of blatant disregard for people's time and feelings. She tries her damnedest to make everything all about her. She doesn't realize that her lack of effort towards others is no longer going to be condoned by me. And her manipulations of others for her emotionally, personal gain is not acceptable and darn right WRONG!

Why am I blogging my gripes today, you ask? This blog is actually about how to properly apologize. Learn to say you're sorry and shut your mouth (if you truly care about someone). If you apologize to someone but then give a line of excuses and justifications why you hurt them, you are telling that person that it's not really your fault their feelings got hurt. If you go on the defensive and have to explain yourself then you are NOT taking responsibility for your actions. We all make mistakes. We all take people for granted, a lot of times by accident. The best thing to do.....now repeat after me.....is say "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or take you for granted. I will never do it again. Can you forgive me?" and then SHUT UP!!!! Let the person either accept or disregard your apology. Give them the chance and the opportunity to take it into their heart with no strings, bullshit or justifications attached. Give them the opportunity to say no. When you don't, it's like trying to force your own beliefs onto them.  If you're feelings get hurt, it's probably because the person you hurt is REALLY HURT! This will happen. Do not force the issue that your feelings are now hurt and now that this hurt person has to acknowledge you feelings too (ultimately minimizing the original person's hurt feelings).

All in all, if you hurt someone's feelings don't spin it around and make it about you. Try to go out of your way (if you truly care about this person) to make this person feel like their feelings are just as important to you as your feelings are.

Yes, I was made to feel that my feelings were unjustified and I should just let it go without detailed, just cause. Well looks what happens. Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me. I know I will forgive this person in my heart, for she is not intentionally malicious but egotistically ignorant. I have the right to feel hurt and then tell that person how I feel without being told is not right. It's about having my existence and my feelings properly acknowledged. Time and time again I have pushed my own feelings aside for others, for the bigger picture. In this case, after years and years of repeated disregard, my feelings will be acknowledged without need to explanation!

Unapologetically yours, Merry Ms (kicking ass) Berry!

Sick of retail!!!

A sweet friend of mine is battling the bah humbug feeling of Christmas because she can't spoil her kids with gifts. I get it. Well how about all the other gifts? A favorite meal or something handmade with love and blood from paper cuts? How about all the amazing Christmas deals AFTER Christmas? Why does ONE day makes or breaks us financially and emotionally when there are 364 other days where we can bless our loved ones? What happened to being creative? Why does everyone fall into this STUPID idea that it's stuff that's going to make us happy? Yes, I love giving gifts just like anyone else does, but I'm not going to let it break me. Example. I am MAKING all my gifts. Me and my yarn are going to love on everyone as much as possible. I am blessed to be surrounded with people that love hats, scarves and mitties, my specialty! Here's the thing about my situation. After realizing that making something is more rewarding for myself, I went a little obsessed and learned as much about knitting and crocheting to meet my artist need of creation. And then....we bought a house, and a truck and a new picture window. My money is tied up in my home where I could house my family as guests and hopefully my future family to come. As much as I would love to spend top dollar to spoil those I love, putting myself anymore into the hole and stressing about money would just upset me and make me sick. I mean stress makes me physically ill, upset stomach ulcers, break outs, and muscles knots. I need to love me first so to be able to love anyone else.

My Feesha is putting herself through school, accidentally listened to her parents & got a crappy car, parted with one of her kiddies temporarily and is staying with family she doesn't particularly care for. And for what...for fun? NOT EVEN CLOSE! She's putting herself through hell for the betterment of her children's lives!!!! She is clawing her way to the top and I think that when her kids see that, THAT will be the best gift that she could ever give them. Though she is a "I want life to be happy now" kind of person, (like most of us) she is kicking ass and taking names every single day. Hopefully this little blog helps remind her of it. There will always be another Christmas where she can spoil her babies, until then she's taking care of herself. That's one thing she hasn't focused on in quite a few years. YOU HEAR ME FEESHA!!! One day in your children's lives are not going to make them love you any less. If anything it's going to make them love you even more. They are watching you fight the good fight and battle with blood on your face. I'm proud of you and always will be!

Let me make the kiddies something. My gift to you. oxoxoxoxoxox

Merrily loving you, Merry Ms Berry