Everyone's Balance is different.

I was told earlier today that I need to find balance in my life and that got me really thinking about my life as a whole. I have balance, just my balance is different than everyone else's balance. What is good for me might not be good for you.

My whole life I've been thinking on my feet, living in extremes and always having a million things to do or at least think of. I loved it like that. On the flip side, I've had a life where I didn't have anything going on and nothing interested me. I'm a very emotional person but I've learned over the years that I can't let my emotions run my life, it's very unstable. On one hand, having a lot going on makes me feel important. But on the other hand when I'm getting pulled in so many directions I shut down and escape from the world. It's just how it is. I've come to terms a little bit ago that I am the way I am and if I want to be different I can do so. As of this moment I am just taking one day at a time and looking for my path.

I know I'm on a path whatever path that may be. I'm not ruled by passion, which I do miss. But I am, also, not consumed with drama. At one point or another, each chapter of my life had some sort of emotional drain and drama in it. It's now to the point where there's still a little bit but nothing I can't iron out or work through.

Here are some things about me that I've learned about myself in past 5 years.
- I need to be me in everything that I do otherwise I won't succeed
- I'm an empath (google away for deeper meaning)
- I am a helper. I thrive and enjoy helping people fix themselves or fix the world around them.
- I am a giver. If you need it and I don't, you can have it.
- When I have a lot going on I feel important
- When I don't have anything going on I feel restless, like I'm missing out on the world
- It's a constant fight to stay present and in balance. I tend to want to live in extremes but know I shouldn't.
- I'm up for all kinds of adventures.
- I hurt when others hurt.
- I love to sleep deeply
- I strive to love deeply
- I ache to feel life and everything that comes with it
- I am NOT afraid to get hurt
- I love music and wish I could bless others with the gift of making music or singing.
- I am not afraid to cry
- I will hurt others when others try to hurt me or my family

It took a lot of digging, talking, relating and soul searching to come to terms of who I am and who I thought I wanted to be. I've changed goals and dreams. I've shrunk down for others and I've shined to help others shine. I love to uplift but also emotionally educate those in the dark. I am a set of flaws in extreme but I know how to handle it. It's me and I don't know how to be anyone else. Most can't handle who I am. Being too close to like being sucked in a tornado when I'm going full speed. But as the tide calms, I'm that comfy fuzzy warm blanket that you never want to leave. I can be the party, the bouncer or the care taker. I think everyone should have a balance of cool & heat in their heart. If it's okay for me, then it's okay for you.