A lifetime later.

 I can’t believe it’s been over three and half years since my last blogger post. So, since 2017 so much has happened, and I don't even know where to start. I will defiently not try and fill in you guys about all that's happened. That would be a super boring read...or at least long winded. I'll start off with what happened in my last post. 

Shortly after finding that an ex-best friend that written about me 5 years prior, I actually reached out to her to thank you for acknowledging my existence. Over the years I bothered me that she bothered me. I come to realized that I still felt hurt pretty badly. And that usually only happens when I really care for someone. I'm one of those people that loves their friends and family, if allowed, wholeheartedly and with everything I am. I can't help it. I fall in love with people. I find people and their worlds fascinating, and if I can be part of those worlds I do. 

In 2018 I had my 2nd child. It was an experience very different from the first, but I will go into that another time and what I learned from that experience. During the time shortly after he was born is when I reached out to my ex-bf to thank her for the acknowledgement of me in her life. From there, it opened something I was not prepared for....her. She wanted to rekindle our relationship. I was scared. I didn't know how to approach this. I've mended relationships before but not of this caliber. So I tiptoed slowly into getting to know her again. A new her and a new me. Both 10 years old. Both married. Both with 2 boys and lifetimes of experiences between us. Day by day we shared a little bit more. I started digging more and she offered up information I was too scared to ask about what actually happened around the time we fell apart. From what I knew for myself, to what I was told by a shady ass bitch named Jen, to the actual truth that was shared with me, I was able to find a peace within myself, forgiving her and along with forgiving myself. There was so much damage being healed and I was excited to have my friend back. 

Here's why I am writing this. I can blow up a bridge, metaphorically speaking, like it was my job. Not only like it was my job but I owned the damn company. I'm a strong advocate of boundaries by any means necessary. But I am, also, someone who isn't so jaded that I'm unreasonable. People fuck up. People change. People grow. Not everyone but enough that this world hasn't imploded on us yet. I guess my point in starting this part one of many posts to come is, don't lose faith in people. Hold out some hope. Let love conquer all. 

These are weird times. But again, that's for another day. I will be back. I miss writing here. I love you

Lovingly yours, Merry Ms Berry