When I see my "frienemies" look like crap, I feel vindicated!!! HA! Says the little evil voice in my head.
When I see my "frienemies" doing well I actually wish them well and the evil melts away. What the hell is that all about?
You would think that I would wish them ill, but that's not how I roll. I would never wish harm against another person....(ok 99.99% of the time I wouldn't. There's always an exception.) Here's the thing about that. Why would I want to wish anyone harm? If their life is out of balance and they are causing harm to others, then the universe will balance itself out and the Lord above will right the wrongs. I do not concern myself with stuff like that. I'm really not evil. Sweet justice comes to me in the form of extra time for myself.
With that being said I came across a recent picture of an old frienemy. New hair, nice makeup, good picture, looks like she lost some weight, too. I, truly, was happy for her. Before when she look hagered, my first thoughts were "HA, you get what you deserve." But in the same light, she looked good. She gets what she deserves and it looked like she was worked hard for it.
It was such a strange feeling. Do I want to be this girl's friend again....not really. Burn me once...shame on me.....you know the rest blah blah blah. But it did make me email a friend I had a blow up with last year. I felt all warm and mushy inside and needed to direct sad mushiness to a friend. Now, I haven't gotten a response but it is what it is.
Here's the thing about me, which most people who know me already know this, when I cut you out of my life...it's pretty much....FOR....EVER! I don't just have this little tiff and part ways. I cut deep, I burn bridges and hold a celebratory vigil for the deceased bodies left on the ground from the tongue lashings, and then saunter away with a swishing ponytail. Sound cruel? You bet it is. Does this happen a lot? Of course not. You really have to go out of your way to intentionally hurt me for any of that to happen. So when it does, watch out for fireworks. Outside of that I love each of my friends like they're my besties. Everyone is individually awesome and I treat them as such. Some realize that, some don't. It doesn't bother me either way.
So here's to the anger melting away from my heart. I thank God helping me lett it all go, wishing nothing but the best for others and here's to those who I still have in my heart.
Squeeshingly yours, Merry Squeesh Berry
Meesh Meesh. I have a blog and I do not have a single reader. I am not sure if I should make the blog public as it has very personal thoughts on it. I feel like I already bug my family, how should I handle information that I think should be free that isn't???
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI'm confused on the direction of your question.
Do you want to be public so to have a voice, but remain anonymous?
Are you afraid of what others might say?
I had an additional blog at one point with nothing but personal, deep and gut wrecking emotional letters & poetry. But I chose not to advertise it & I told no one about it. But somehow I had one reader in India.
Here's my view on blogs. Life is life. Everyone has one. Everyone has an opinion and a twisted world on how we perceive the world. You have the right to document your findings. You have the right to feel how you feel and express that to others in any fashion you deem fit.
If people can't behave around me, I have the right to call them out on my blog. Though, I have just as much fun doing in real life.
We all have something to share and benefit the world with our findings in life. Don't be scared. Worse comes to worse, you can always go back into hiding.