Ever find yourself having the same fight repeatedly? Ever seem to find yourself in the same toxic relationship but with a different person? Have you ever sat back and wondered "this again? WTF?"
Welcome to finding a pattern. They are the hardest to realize and maybe equally as hard to break if you aren't used to doing so.
As creatures of habit, we humans get stuck in routines and ruts where we go through the motions without even realizing that we are stuck. Or we think we need to keep "working at it", "fight through it" or just plain drive ourselves insane.
How about a few examples?
My current place of employment for the next 4 weeks is a place that I gave a lot of, not only, chances but emotions and energy. They made me feel that I had to prove myself over and over and over and fucking shoot me please. After having proved myself more than enough times that I was smart, willing and able I seemed to consistency be "put in my place" or "passed over" or just darn right dissed. But, I kept trying. I kept going. Why? Because I did have something to prove. That I was a badass and deserved to be treated as such. It wasn't until the 3rd BURN of my current career is when I realized that things are not going to change around here and that it was me that had to do the changing. BAM! I quit. Okay fine. I put my ducks in a role, made an exit plan and gave a 5 week notice. Yes, I could have done it differently and really stuck it to them but the few people that I do work with I really do like.
Example #2. The toxic cyclical relationship
My first long term, uber serious relationship. We were toxic from the word go, and we weren't even together yet. The land of red flags but we kept trying. And then we were together, it didn't get any easier. Passionate, firey, exciting and insane? Yes! Stable, forthcoming, easy, smooth? Not a chance. He would get insecure about how I was living my life and make not only digs at me but my friends. I would get super mad break up with for a week, take him back and let the love try to continue. Love, fight, make up. Love, fight, make up. Though the "making up" was absolutely hot and awesome, the repeated times of having to "make up" was wearing. So wearing that I had no fight left in me. I had no "make up" left in me. I had to change. He said I never gave him a chance to show me he could change. Dude, seriously? Outside of the 2 years we were together there were years before that and ever years after that. It just wasn't meant to be, but I had to change it all up to really see that.
If you don't pull yourself away from a situation you'll never know where the change needs to happen.
If you keep doing the same thing and you always end up shitty....change. Life is about change. Pull back, reevaluate, move forward. But change is needed.
Epically yours, Merry Ms Berry
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