I am your mom at the age of 26. I have not started dating your father yet. At this point I had only talked to him for about 10 minutes back when we were in college together in the late 90's. Yes 1990's. No need to gasp, shit happens.
At 26 years old I thought I had a lot of things figured out. In my defense I had lived a lot for someone my age. I had already lost my father, your grandfather. I am currently working for one of the largest entertainment companies that runs 25 nightclubs and restaurants in the Chicagoland area. I am the Operations Administrator and had worked my way up from receptionist. Actually they didn't want to fill the position, I was next in line. I fucking rocked it! Outside of my inner office workings of legal documents, insurance, workman's compensation files, running the office and helping other managers with whatever they needed for their store, I also had many projects on the side. Not only was I a bartender at night, I was trying to get a online retail store off the ground, build teams, get clients, maintain my name with a promotional company I helped start and maintain a social life in the midst of all of it. And look good doing it all.
I was already engaged once before at a very young age, had my heart broken 3 times and went on numerous dates. Some great. Some utterly horrible. I have this beautiful white Husky named Zoey. I've already moved out twice and back in with your Gamma Diane. She always welcomes me home. Long story short, at 26 I was an ass kicking machine trying to build a life what would not only myself, but my present family and future family, who ever they may might be.
At 26, these are the things that I do not know yet and will ultimately break me down, make me cry, scream and come to terms with in my 30's.
1. Figuring out what having real faith means will save your life from the brink of disaster. When you throw your hands up in the air and just know that way ever happens, God will protect you, whether here in the physical world or in Heaven.
2. Your parents are people. They have struggled hard to be as amazing as they can be. They will make mistakes along with way. Let them. Have fun with them. We are all humans and make mistakes no matter how old we are.
3. If you're not doing what God wants you to, He will not let you succeed. I wanted to be the big bad ass business owner, connection making, hot to trot machine in black eyeliner and 4 inches heels. God had other plans for me. None of which had owning and running some super big company. But I still rock out black eyeliner and 4 inch heels.
4. Your emotions are your inner guidance system to your life. Yes, there are going to be times where you are going to have to meet where the rubber meets the road. You are going to have to push yourself harder than you've ever pushed before. Blood, sweat and tears will be expected for parts of your life that you love and respect. But, there will come a time where something doesn't feel right. Parts of life aren't going to be fun or bring you joy, and at those moments, you need to turn around and walk away.
5. People will be put in your life to learn from. Whether you're going to learn about what a great love is and how far you would go for that. Or you're going to learn how horrible people can be what you don't want in your life, and who not to give yourself to. Not a couple but many.
6. You're going to learn to have to let people go. We will have friends for a lifetime. We are going to have friends for a moment. NEVER cling onto a person that doesn't want the best for you and you don't want the best for them. Only surround yourself with people who bring value to you life, either emotional, mentally, or spiritually. Be the person that everyone can turn to but be with people that you can turn to also. No matter how long or short, sometimes it's best to let people stay or go. You'll know what the time is right.
7. You are going to experience life first hand in way I won't. But it's always nice to be armed with information and knowledge from loved ones that have walked a similar path. Your family loves you unconditionally and wants nothing but the best for you. Listen to their stories. And then live your life.
8. Make mistakes. Fail!!! Fail time and time again. Keep trying new things. Excel at a bunch. Suck at the rest. Who cares? Never fear failure. It's in those times of failure is where you will learn the most about not only yourself but your world around you.
9. Enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Ice cream. A soft blanket. A good night's sleep. Sleeping to the sound of a thunderstorm. A nap. Your favorite sweatshirt. Your favorite song. A walk in the rain. These are just a few things let will help keep you from losing your mind. There will be a time where your world will come down around and you'll have no where to go. Be still. Recoup. Enjoy the silence. Be one with yourself and all your answers will come to you.
10. What makes you happy now will most likely not make you happy later. As we age and grow as people, our likes and dislikes change along with us. I've always had a flair for art. But then I stopped. It was once my outlet for pain and then I didn't need it. And then it became my outlet for joy and it was completely different. And I will become mildly successful as an artist.
11. Love honestly. Speak from the heart. That scary, raw truth that people run from. The truth is the only thing we have. Even if it hurts you or might hurt someone else, the truth is what help make life real. Each relationship you have will be different and go into knowing that. Don't pre-judge what you don't know. Everyone is different. Learn from the last and use that to love the next different.
12. Own. your. Shit! You are going to make mistakes. Take ownership of them. Take responsibility for them. Apologize. It'll make your life so much easier.
13. As Gamma Diane says "when your home is in order, your life will be in order." I say "I like being proactively lazy." Get the annoying stupid shit done first and out of the way. That way you don't have to worry about it later and can relax as much as you want, or have as much fun as you want without caring if you have clean clothes or if dirty dishes are growing mold in the sink. Take pride in everything you have, from your car to your socks.
14. Appreciate nice thing but don't consume yourself with stuff. You can only handle one item at a time. No need to have 10 of something, except t-shirts, who doesn't love an awesome t-shirt collection. Okay, and socks. You need socks and undies. It's about quality no quantity. That goes with people too.
15. You have NO control over anyone. Not a dog, not your parents, not your friends, not your lovers, not anyone. Let them be them. You just worry about being you. People are going to let you down whether you have puppet them or not. So don't even try. Trust me I've walked that path early in life, it sucks.
16. You are not perfect. Don't act like it. I don't want you to ever think you need to be. You will never be. Trying to be perfect FUCKING SUCKS!!!!
17. Always been on time. Respect not only your time but other people's too. If you say you're going to be somewhere make sure you give yourself enough time and even an extra 10 minutes for shit to happen. Better to arrive a little early then be late.
18. Read. There are so many amazing books out there. Keep learning.
19. Make everything as much fun as possible. Your gamma once woke me up, after a long night of drinking, in the early morning to shovel wet heavy snow from the driveway. I didn't bitch or complain. I opened the trunk of my car and cranked some Christmas music. If I was going to do something that sucked I was going to enjoy some fun music doing so.
20. Appreciate everything in your life. And I mean everything. When you put that into perspective, nothing will be able to bring you down.
21. Travel. Don't put yourself into debt to do so. But if you have a choice between a fancy watch or the chance to go see a different country, go and see the world.
22. Protect your drivers license and your credit score. Only go to college if you need to succeed in something you love like being a lawyer or a psychiatrist. Debt is not something you want to drown in.
23. Take pride in your work. Whether your cutting hogs, cleaning horse stalls or making sandwiches, do it with pride and it will always show. And you will always be respected for it.
24. Protect the weak. I have a feeling that you are going to be a leader and a warrior. You're already so smart and crazy. Protect those who are weaker than you. There are many bullies in the world and we need to stand against them. Love on those you can. Kill them with kindness as much as possible but make sure the little guy gets his day in the sun too.
25. Don't let anyone change you. Don't let anyone try to make you a lemming. Don't let them put you in a box and tell you you're not good enough. You are the most perfect you ever and the world need to see you shine or others can shine with you.
26. Laugh as much as possible.
27. Cry. Get it out. The strongest of men cry. Men who allow themselves to feel and process cry, laugh, hug, cuddle, fight and stare. Allow yourself to feel everything.
28. Figure out how to be happy. Start young and continue to learn what you like and what makes you smile.
29. Stay young at heart and life will be so much more fun. Being a boring adult that takes everything serious is stupid!!!!
30. Dance. Dance great. Dance bad. Just dance. 99% of people don't know how to dance so don't worry about what you look like. Get out there and just dance. It feels amazing!
Know that we are all fucked up in some way in a fucked up world. God makes all kinds of kinds. (That's a country song). Get ready to get your hands dirty and take on the world running just like your mom and dad have. We wear our scars like badges of honor. Ask about them and we will tell you what you need to know. I am an open book and not afraid of people judging me because I really don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, except from those that I love who never judge me too badly anyway.
I love you forever, now and from beyond. I will always be with you.
Love, Mommy Ms Berry
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