Draw the line

Life is too short to kill yourself over a relationship!!!

One of my besties KamiKam has been in a relationship for the past 6-7 years with a man not very similar to her but she loves him just the same. He's got many insecurities coupled with a few shit cards that life has dealt him. It's now to the point where he is spiraling into that dark place that we all are familiar with. She herself is on a different path. In the last 6-12 months she quit a job she hated, paid all her bills with unemployment, went back to school and beat herself up finding a new job in a field that she hasn't been in for over 6 years in a market where it's harder to find a job than not. She's one of those people that when presented with a problem, she finds a solution for it. She know the true meaning in life is to try to fill your life with happiness. We are get handed shit cards, it's up to us how we play these cards.

Back to Shane. He is not playing his cards like Kami would. He taking the approach that life has shit all over him and is taking his negativity out on Kami who is trying to love him as much as possible and make him happy. Whether that's giving him space or having a quickie in the morning. But Shane is in that place where nothing is going to make him happy. Not his hot girlfriend who loves making love to him, or taking time by himself to collect his thoughts. He's being destructive, acting out and hurting Kami in the process. He's not taking the time to see or acknowledge her. He's suck in his world of doodie which is inside of his own head. He forgets that she has had many shit cards handed to her, and after talking to her you would never know that. He's lost in that dark place and unconsciously is trying to take her with him. My heart breaks for her because I know that place all too well. I myself just came out of the battle. And we came out brighter on the other side, Thank God!

She feels lost, helpless and broken that she can't make this man she loves happy. She doesn't know how to help. She misses that man she once knew. She doesn't want to "give up" on the relationship. She knows that there's light at the end of EVER tunnel. What does she do?

Draw the line in the sand.

At this point she's tried being compassionate, compromising and there for him. But he is not seeing it and totally doesn't appreciate her, what she does for him or even that she's still around. She needs to protect herself and her happiness too. She does what she can and now she has to make sure that she is okay. She just started a new career, lost weight and sees the world without a cloud that she's been in for years. And in my opinion Shane doesn't know how to handle her successes when he only sees his own misery.

Draw the line!

He needs to get help. He needs a professional  to help pull him out of that dark place because Kami nor he can do it by himself. If he refuses then she needs to let him know that she can't watch him destroy not only their relationship, himself but also try to take her down with him. That's not fair to anyone. Everyone deserves to fight for their happiness. If Shane chooses not to be happy, that's his choice. He's a grown ass man. But he can't expect Kami to destroy her life and her happiness just the sake of a relationship. No relationship is worth having if you are killing one another, physically or emotionally.

Draw the line! You must be happy first before you can make anyone else happy. Like my mom says. When you're on an airplane you must put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else with theirs.

I've drawn the line and my husband stepped up as the man I knew he would be and our relationship is stronger because of it. Don't be afraid to draw that line in the sand. If people don't own up and they lose you, that's their fault not yours.

Life is too short to stay miserable for anyone in the world. Draw the line and make people own up to their actions. If not, you don't need these people in your life, bringing you down.

Feisty as hell, Merry Ms Berry