Friends with a history don't mean s*!+

and what I mean about the title is that just because you've been friends with someone forever doesn't mean you 'have' to stay friends with them. People change and that's expected. We can't expect people to automatically grow and change with us. We all change. We form our own opinions, morals and values on how to live our lives. A lot of times people grow apart. We change at different points of our lives. Some people have to grow up fast or start their own family earlier in life. I, myself, did not. I saw a lot of friends getting pregnant and having babies while I tended bar and went all out night to the wee hours of the morning.

I have found that the simlarities we shared as teenagers never transfer into adulthood. Why must we cling onto the past party just to spend time with one another in the present? If there's someone in your life, now, that you don't feel is up to your standard in morals or values, why hold onto them? Just because they've been in your life forever doesn't mean they've earned a spot in your life now.

Example: If you have a childhood friend that abuses drugs, just because you have known them forever, does that mean you want that kind of person in your life?(unless you abuse drugs yourself. But that's a different topic all together)


Some people are just not meant to come with us as we get older and that's okay. Those who grow with you as a person and are able to share in experiences in everyday life  are the people you want in your life. I once dated a guy for a few months that did nothing but talk about his past with his friends when he drank. Since I didn't know anything about who he was talking about I was always left in the dark with nothing constructive to say. When you live in the past you are disregarding those in your present.

I grew up with a girl that I once had taken under my wing and thought that I was instilling the values I was brought up with. Within the last year I noticed she lived her life completely differently that I lived my own. Now, I don't think there's anything wrong in that except she expected people to take care of her. I was raised different. I was raised to be completely independent, no matter what. I've learned it's okay to ask for help but not to expect my parents, others, or the government to have take care of me. If I'm healthy and kicking, I'm working. PERIOD. I chose not to have her in my life. It doesn't matter to me that we've known each other our entire lives, it's who she is NOW that I don't accept. She is no one that I want my child to look as a role model. Why live in the past? So to destroy the future? MEH!

If you are struggling with your current association it's okay to say good bye. People fill a need or a void and when that is fulfilled it's okay to move on. How many billions of people are on the planet. Letting go of few just makes more room for the better.

Lovingly yours, Merry Ms Berry