It's always good to have a stable relationship with yourself, and for all those who think I'm all butterflies and rainbows 24/7, you are wrongly mistaken. I'm human. I didn't get good sleep because I kept on getting woken up, I had to clean up my kitchen this morning and all together I woke up on "the wrong side" of the bed. And ya know what....I'm okay with that. I'm perfectly fine with being short with people, not giving my all, and particularly fond of verbally putting people in their place with the mindset that I am in. I look at it this way, if God didn't want them to cross me, He wouldn't. So there is a reason why I am in this mood and why I'm getting crossed. Sometimes you just need to have the icky kind of day to really appreciate the better days. Or for that fact, let everyone else appreciate me in a better mood.
People tend to forget that I AM allowed to be me, and that covers many facets of being me. If you come to me and start whining about stupid shit, I will tell you it "actually" is. We just don't know "how" I am going to tell you, but either way it's going to be beneficial for all. If you know someone that needs a verbal "one two" to the chin, please don't hesitate to send them my way. I am in that feisty kind of mood.
Yes, I do believe that love can solve 98% of all problems because that's what everyone in the world actually needs, either love from someone else or love of themselves. BUT, sometimes the best kind of love comes with a kick in the ass. Like telling bad children no, pretty girls to stop sleeping around, and bad bosses to stop acting like assholes. We all need to be told "no" once in awhile. Love is dishing out EXACTLY what someone needs. And right now I could use a bit of Christmas Sparkly Cheer. And for those who know me best, I'll be home at 6:15pm, bring rootbeer.
Grudgingly yours, Bitey Ms Berry
July 6, 2011
July 1, 2011
Easy vs. Right?
When has the question of doing the right thing & doing the easy thing ever become an option in people's minds? This is not your typical "Berry one on one" blog, but it still have to do with people's relationships with others.
I've been making some simple observations as I have been my entire life and easy doesn't always stay easy, on the contrary it becomes harder over time. Let's view an example.
I have friends and family that in their early childhood had it pretty easy. They never really had to bust their ass for much and they were rarely told "no". It's not that they were incapable but their parents we able to spoil them with whatever they wanted, whether money, cars, clothes or vacations. Now that they are older and more mature adults, they are the ones that I see struggling mentally, emotionally and even financially. When it comes to having the "the rubber meet the road" they look for the easy way out, thinking that they should just bide their time before someone can save them. Doesn't that mean that they are compromising their morals and values...or what are their morals and values? I often wonder what keeps them from throwing caution to the mind and doing what is right instead of what's easy? How is putting yourself in a shitty situation because it's easier actually easier?
Ok, here's an example of the other side of the coin. Those without.
First, small children do not know what it means to live without. As long as they have mom and dad's love all is right with the world. Most of them of would even prefer to be without clothing, so kiss off your designer labels. Poop is still poop whether it's in Gucci or Target.
I grew up with everything that I needed.....NOT everything I wanted. My parents were growing a business, my dad was an interesting character to have as a role model and if I wanted something that my parents couldn't or didn't want to provide after the age of 15, I had to get it for myself. PERIOD. If I wanted something outside of my needs, I had to get it myself. Also, emotionally I tore myself apart trying to learn what was the best for me. I tried being a sheep and do what every one else was doing, but I found that it never fit who I wanted to be. I've also watched friends in the same situations battle the same battles I was.
Of course we all wanted the fancy totebags and the trendiest shoes but looking back now it just wasn't that important. I was more of a girl for comfort, not for fashion. I knew as a teenager that if "the popular people" (or anyone for that matter) were going to judge me on what I wore instead of the person that I was on the inside then they: 1) sucked as humans 2) had no taste in people 3) lacked social skills and 4) were not going to be fun to have as friends anyway. (FYI, I had and still have the bestest friends ever!!!)))
I am NOT without mistakes, mess ups, arrest and compromise. But I freely manned up and took responsibility for all my actions and made conscious decisions whether or not I would do those mistakes again. I've put myself in relationships where my morals and values were compromised and immediately took myself out, no matter on who, what or where. If I didn't have my morals and values backing me up what did I really have to stand on for making my other life decisions? I find myself wanting to make the right decision, no matter how hard it may be, because I know in the long run it will make life easier. It's like knowing you have to break up with that crazy boyfriend because he's not your "forever" but it's hard because you see his potential to be amazing. Well, you can't build a life on potential. It's like revving your car in the driveway. Yes you can hear and maybe "feel" the power but you're still not going anywhere.
Also, those who grew up without have found out what life is really all about. It's about appreciating the little things that are not in your control. They dig deeper into their relationships and hold them and those around them to a higher level of thoughts and feelings. Yes, it's nice to have nice things. It's also way better to have those around you that you love so much that in a crisis when all your stuff fails, its those people that have your back. But it's not easy!!!! You have to stand your ground and make personal scarifies to have those people in your life. You are who you hang out with. If you hang out with shit....well what do you become? mmm hmmm, do I need to say it?
If we lead by example of what is right, then we would never have to "watch our backs" or worry about what's next to come. We've lost our faith in mankind because every one is looking for the easy way, potentially messing it up for others. Well stop it!
Man up!
Stubbornly yours, Merry Ms Berry
I've been making some simple observations as I have been my entire life and easy doesn't always stay easy, on the contrary it becomes harder over time. Let's view an example.
I have friends and family that in their early childhood had it pretty easy. They never really had to bust their ass for much and they were rarely told "no". It's not that they were incapable but their parents we able to spoil them with whatever they wanted, whether money, cars, clothes or vacations. Now that they are older and more mature adults, they are the ones that I see struggling mentally, emotionally and even financially. When it comes to having the "the rubber meet the road" they look for the easy way out, thinking that they should just bide their time before someone can save them. Doesn't that mean that they are compromising their morals and values...or what are their morals and values? I often wonder what keeps them from throwing caution to the mind and doing what is right instead of what's easy? How is putting yourself in a shitty situation because it's easier actually easier?
Ok, here's an example of the other side of the coin. Those without.
First, small children do not know what it means to live without. As long as they have mom and dad's love all is right with the world. Most of them of would even prefer to be without clothing, so kiss off your designer labels. Poop is still poop whether it's in Gucci or Target.
I grew up with everything that I needed.....NOT everything I wanted. My parents were growing a business, my dad was an interesting character to have as a role model and if I wanted something that my parents couldn't or didn't want to provide after the age of 15, I had to get it for myself. PERIOD. If I wanted something outside of my needs, I had to get it myself. Also, emotionally I tore myself apart trying to learn what was the best for me. I tried being a sheep and do what every one else was doing, but I found that it never fit who I wanted to be. I've also watched friends in the same situations battle the same battles I was.
Of course we all wanted the fancy totebags and the trendiest shoes but looking back now it just wasn't that important. I was more of a girl for comfort, not for fashion. I knew as a teenager that if "the popular people" (or anyone for that matter) were going to judge me on what I wore instead of the person that I was on the inside then they: 1) sucked as humans 2) had no taste in people 3) lacked social skills and 4) were not going to be fun to have as friends anyway. (FYI, I had and still have the bestest friends ever!!!)))
I am NOT without mistakes, mess ups, arrest and compromise. But I freely manned up and took responsibility for all my actions and made conscious decisions whether or not I would do those mistakes again. I've put myself in relationships where my morals and values were compromised and immediately took myself out, no matter on who, what or where. If I didn't have my morals and values backing me up what did I really have to stand on for making my other life decisions? I find myself wanting to make the right decision, no matter how hard it may be, because I know in the long run it will make life easier. It's like knowing you have to break up with that crazy boyfriend because he's not your "forever" but it's hard because you see his potential to be amazing. Well, you can't build a life on potential. It's like revving your car in the driveway. Yes you can hear and maybe "feel" the power but you're still not going anywhere.
Also, those who grew up without have found out what life is really all about. It's about appreciating the little things that are not in your control. They dig deeper into their relationships and hold them and those around them to a higher level of thoughts and feelings. Yes, it's nice to have nice things. It's also way better to have those around you that you love so much that in a crisis when all your stuff fails, its those people that have your back. But it's not easy!!!! You have to stand your ground and make personal scarifies to have those people in your life. You are who you hang out with. If you hang out with shit....well what do you become? mmm hmmm, do I need to say it?
If we lead by example of what is right, then we would never have to "watch our backs" or worry about what's next to come. We've lost our faith in mankind because every one is looking for the easy way, potentially messing it up for others. Well stop it!
Man up!
Stubbornly yours, Merry Ms Berry
June 29, 2011
What about my life plan......
I didn't not blog yesterday and it feels like a little piece of me is missing, only because I love speaking to the world so much. So I reached out to KKK or K3. Now before you lose your mind, I am referring to my Krazy Kousin Kiki. I know it should be CCK, but that's not as fun. I have also, referred to her as Cousin Ocho, because she lost a couple toes in an accident, so she's down to 8 (get it? Ocho? 8, yes it's that funny). So K3 asked me to talk about having a life plan. She like to have plans, goals, lists and is in constant motion to achieve something, which is awesome, but why. Do I have a life plan, if so, what is it? If I don't, why not?
I personally never sat down with my thoughts and planned out my life. I knew I wanted to get married and have a family, but I never put a time frame on it. I went to college but never found the passions in my field, so I didn't force myself into any big degrees. When it came to wanting to succeed and planning for it, I guess I didn't really think about it, I just did it. And when I didn't like it anymore, I just stopped. Why kill myself at something and I'm not in love with?
So when is a good time to stop living moment to moment and start planning ahead? Financially I was always good at saving and spending money. I always guarded my credit score and drivers license. I loved freely and did not worry about having a boyfriend or not. I have always had good friends around me, even in the darkest of times when I couldn't see.
I believe you can't or shouldn't plan out a love life. People are put into your life to learn from, no matter how good or bad. It's in these experiences where you should be forming what is ideal for yourself, whether you believe in soul mates or not, or just someone "forever". I never put a time line on love. Is that even possible? I just went on how I felt. The body is the biggest guidance system you have. If you feel great, go with it. If you feel bad, back away.
You can control a career if it's something your passionate about. But you can't control a relationship because you shouldn't have to control another person. How exhausting would that be? You can bend people's will to you, but why would you want to?
Can you really have a life plan? Doesn't life change all the time? Isn't futile to really try and plan it out?
I used to ride horses, almost at the professional level, but my interests changed and I stopped. I used to create art out of all my raging emotions. I got control and sorted out my emotions, the art kinda just stopped. The only real consistency that I have in my life when it comes to hobbies, passions and/or careers is people. I love people! I love to help people! I love having different kinds of relationships, uplifting, living and learning from those in the world around us. It's all I ever think about. The only "life plan" I can think about having for myself is to help people. But how do I plan to do that when I just live it?
I live my plan, but I don't have a plan. I love in my relationships and God blesses me with wonderful people who either, need my love or I need theirs, and most of the time its both together.
Yes, I would like to have children, but if I can't I'll understand. I can do something different. I love dogs, so I can just get one. Can it be the same with other parts of my life? I would like to think so, but you never know.
My life plan is that I do what I like. I don't know how else to plan out for life. Tomorrow is can all change, so can we really plan for anything or just hope our plans stick? Everything happens for a reason, and I will always live by that saying. Doesn't life pass you by when you are busy planning it anyway?
Longingly, Merry Ms Berry
I personally never sat down with my thoughts and planned out my life. I knew I wanted to get married and have a family, but I never put a time frame on it. I went to college but never found the passions in my field, so I didn't force myself into any big degrees. When it came to wanting to succeed and planning for it, I guess I didn't really think about it, I just did it. And when I didn't like it anymore, I just stopped. Why kill myself at something and I'm not in love with?
So when is a good time to stop living moment to moment and start planning ahead? Financially I was always good at saving and spending money. I always guarded my credit score and drivers license. I loved freely and did not worry about having a boyfriend or not. I have always had good friends around me, even in the darkest of times when I couldn't see.
I believe you can't or shouldn't plan out a love life. People are put into your life to learn from, no matter how good or bad. It's in these experiences where you should be forming what is ideal for yourself, whether you believe in soul mates or not, or just someone "forever". I never put a time line on love. Is that even possible? I just went on how I felt. The body is the biggest guidance system you have. If you feel great, go with it. If you feel bad, back away.
You can control a career if it's something your passionate about. But you can't control a relationship because you shouldn't have to control another person. How exhausting would that be? You can bend people's will to you, but why would you want to?
Can you really have a life plan? Doesn't life change all the time? Isn't futile to really try and plan it out?
I used to ride horses, almost at the professional level, but my interests changed and I stopped. I used to create art out of all my raging emotions. I got control and sorted out my emotions, the art kinda just stopped. The only real consistency that I have in my life when it comes to hobbies, passions and/or careers is people. I love people! I love to help people! I love having different kinds of relationships, uplifting, living and learning from those in the world around us. It's all I ever think about. The only "life plan" I can think about having for myself is to help people. But how do I plan to do that when I just live it?
I live my plan, but I don't have a plan. I love in my relationships and God blesses me with wonderful people who either, need my love or I need theirs, and most of the time its both together.
Yes, I would like to have children, but if I can't I'll understand. I can do something different. I love dogs, so I can just get one. Can it be the same with other parts of my life? I would like to think so, but you never know.
My life plan is that I do what I like. I don't know how else to plan out for life. Tomorrow is can all change, so can we really plan for anything or just hope our plans stick? Everything happens for a reason, and I will always live by that saying. Doesn't life pass you by when you are busy planning it anyway?
Longingly, Merry Ms Berry
June 27, 2011
How to be a good friend
It's with a heavy heart that I actually have to write this blog. As I was thinking about it this morning on my commute into the beautiful city of Big Shoulders, I realized that a good friendship is the base of every good relationship, either platonic or romantic. I love being a great friend to others when given the chances. It's sad that some people just don't get some of this.
How is it that there are some people that we connect with right away and then there are other people who you just want to slap when you first meet them? This one blog has the potential in itself to become a book because there can be so many facets to friendship. I am going to try my hardest to keep this as simple as possible. And to do that I am going to make a to-do list.
1) Be yourself! - If someone doesn't want to be friends with the real you, then it's not meant to be.
2) Be honest - Where you live in a cave or have traveled around the world, people want to know who the real you is. There's no need to add any fluff.
3) Be open - Do not judge people. We have all made mistakes and those mistakes are in the past. We cannot change the past, we can only learn from them.
4) Ask - Ask questions about that person. Each person is a world in itself. If you don't ask how will you know. And if you don't ask it's going to come off that you only care about yourself.
5) Listen - After said questions, take a real interest in what that person has to say, and just listen. Don't think about what you want to say next, you might miss something.
6) Prepare - before bestowing "your opinion" on your friend, ask them if they would like to know first. Some people don't want to hear other people's opinions.
7) Be available - we all live busy lives, but we make time for those we care about. Anyone one of my friends know that if they need me, whether it's to bail out of jail or just listen to them vent for a few minutes, I will find the time to do so.
8) Be fair - there are times where we all get out of line. We get emotional, irrational and tend to forget those around us. If you call out a friend or they call you out at this situation, they are telling you because they care. Listen to them, work it out.
9) Apologize - we all make mistakes. There is always be miscommunication. Feelings will get hurt. Acknowledge those feelings and apologize, it will make your friendship stronger.
10) Meet them half way -if they go to your house, then go to there's. If they call you, you call them. Both parties should putting an effort towards each other. Having a one sided friendship is not a relationship at all, it's called stalking.
11) Share - everything. Share your pain and let them love on you. Share your successes and let them rejoice with you. Let them make you cookies and give them a hat that you love. It's those little thoughts and actions that make a bond stronger. Show people your battle scars because you never know when someone is in the same battle and they need to know they can get through it.
12) Laugh - laugh together. Laugh at yourself. Let the laughter pour out of you. It is the little observations in life that make us all relate to one another and it's showing us that we are paying attention to the lives around us.
13) Except change - The only constant in this world is change. We are constantly learning about ourselves in this ever changing world. You're not the same person you were a year ago, not of us are. It's exciting to have the chance to keep learning about the world and those is in.
14) Be responsible - whether it's with people's feelings, clothing, pet or money. Take care of your responsibilities. If you borrow money pay it back as soon as possible, even if it's only a little bit at a time, it shows you value your relationship more than the money you borrow. If you borrow a shirt, make sure it stays as nice as you got it. If you damage that shirt, replace it with the same. Do not use something you can not replace in time. Even though it's just stuff, it's the thought behind taking care of their stuff that shows them you care for them.
15) Shine!!!! Be an awesome you! When you let yourself shine you give others around the opportunity to shine as bright. Embrace the differences, love the quirks, fill those around you with a life they might be starving for.
Your friends turn to you to love and uplift them, keep the grounded and hold you accountable to yourself. At least that's what I want from my friends and I hope I can be that for them.
Loving you! Merry Ms Berry
How is it that there are some people that we connect with right away and then there are other people who you just want to slap when you first meet them? This one blog has the potential in itself to become a book because there can be so many facets to friendship. I am going to try my hardest to keep this as simple as possible. And to do that I am going to make a to-do list.
1) Be yourself! - If someone doesn't want to be friends with the real you, then it's not meant to be.
2) Be honest - Where you live in a cave or have traveled around the world, people want to know who the real you is. There's no need to add any fluff.
3) Be open - Do not judge people. We have all made mistakes and those mistakes are in the past. We cannot change the past, we can only learn from them.
4) Ask - Ask questions about that person. Each person is a world in itself. If you don't ask how will you know. And if you don't ask it's going to come off that you only care about yourself.
5) Listen - After said questions, take a real interest in what that person has to say, and just listen. Don't think about what you want to say next, you might miss something.
6) Prepare - before bestowing "your opinion" on your friend, ask them if they would like to know first. Some people don't want to hear other people's opinions.
7) Be available - we all live busy lives, but we make time for those we care about. Anyone one of my friends know that if they need me, whether it's to bail out of jail or just listen to them vent for a few minutes, I will find the time to do so.
8) Be fair - there are times where we all get out of line. We get emotional, irrational and tend to forget those around us. If you call out a friend or they call you out at this situation, they are telling you because they care. Listen to them, work it out.
9) Apologize - we all make mistakes. There is always be miscommunication. Feelings will get hurt. Acknowledge those feelings and apologize, it will make your friendship stronger.
10) Meet them half way -if they go to your house, then go to there's. If they call you, you call them. Both parties should putting an effort towards each other. Having a one sided friendship is not a relationship at all, it's called stalking.
11) Share - everything. Share your pain and let them love on you. Share your successes and let them rejoice with you. Let them make you cookies and give them a hat that you love. It's those little thoughts and actions that make a bond stronger. Show people your battle scars because you never know when someone is in the same battle and they need to know they can get through it.
12) Laugh - laugh together. Laugh at yourself. Let the laughter pour out of you. It is the little observations in life that make us all relate to one another and it's showing us that we are paying attention to the lives around us.
13) Except change - The only constant in this world is change. We are constantly learning about ourselves in this ever changing world. You're not the same person you were a year ago, not of us are. It's exciting to have the chance to keep learning about the world and those is in.
14) Be responsible - whether it's with people's feelings, clothing, pet or money. Take care of your responsibilities. If you borrow money pay it back as soon as possible, even if it's only a little bit at a time, it shows you value your relationship more than the money you borrow. If you borrow a shirt, make sure it stays as nice as you got it. If you damage that shirt, replace it with the same. Do not use something you can not replace in time. Even though it's just stuff, it's the thought behind taking care of their stuff that shows them you care for them.
15) Shine!!!! Be an awesome you! When you let yourself shine you give others around the opportunity to shine as bright. Embrace the differences, love the quirks, fill those around you with a life they might be starving for.
Your friends turn to you to love and uplift them, keep the grounded and hold you accountable to yourself. At least that's what I want from my friends and I hope I can be that for them.
Loving you! Merry Ms Berry
June 24, 2011
This is for my Mommy!!!!
Yes, I am a grown woman in her 30's and I call my mom "Mommy". I'm her baby and always will be! So don't ever stop to think that I'll ever forget that.
MY MOM IS AWESOME!!!!! And every single person that meets her can vouch for that.
One of my posts had upset her when I was talking about my pain for years past. If I was hurting, she was the one to heal my pain. Being the most loving woman EVER, she would have only assumed that she could read minds and know everything about her children. Well, here's the thing. I was super sneaky in a way where I knew the burden she already carried and I would be damned if I added more to her shoulders. I was put into her life to ease her struggle and bring light and laughter into her life. I know this! We are given to our parents for a reason, whether they need to protect us or we need to protect them. Even the youngest of shoulders are wise to the angst of the world.
My mother was raised to be as perfect as possible which in a sense, she was being set up for disaster. No one can be perfect....NO ONE!!!! She carried the weight of our whole family and she is the strongest woman I know. I was blessed with being a visionary from a very, very young age, knowing that my parents had faults but I can see them trying their hardest to provide. As kids, all we really ever needed was their love and that's exactly what we got. I saw things and understood my parents long before my peers hit puberty. With great knowledge came great responsibility, and for that I stuck to her side. I was blessed to have my mom all to my self at a time in both our lives where change was great and the opportunity to become greater women was upon us. AND IT WAS A BLAST!!!!!
I, as a teenager, coming into my own and my mom as a new divorcee, having the chance to reinvent herself. She brought her wisdom from the years and I was able to bring a fresh insight and perspective to the world around us. We were a lethal combination of goofy laughter with witty punch. If we were a cocktail we be mimosas! Vitamin C with bubbles!!!! She helped me become a woman and I helped her find the happy, inner child of letting go.
Mom, I know you're going to read this. I love you so much! I only hope I can be half the woman you are to me. You are so kind and wise beyond your generation and have a heart bigger than the universe. I know you are conditioned to always tell me what to do and how to do it and I will always appreciate that because it means you love me. I can't wait to bless you with grand-babies and enjoy the many continuous chapters of our lives.
Humbly, Merry Ms Berry (baby dinky)
MY MOM IS AWESOME!!!!! And every single person that meets her can vouch for that.
One of my posts had upset her when I was talking about my pain for years past. If I was hurting, she was the one to heal my pain. Being the most loving woman EVER, she would have only assumed that she could read minds and know everything about her children. Well, here's the thing. I was super sneaky in a way where I knew the burden she already carried and I would be damned if I added more to her shoulders. I was put into her life to ease her struggle and bring light and laughter into her life. I know this! We are given to our parents for a reason, whether they need to protect us or we need to protect them. Even the youngest of shoulders are wise to the angst of the world.
My mother was raised to be as perfect as possible which in a sense, she was being set up for disaster. No one can be perfect....NO ONE!!!! She carried the weight of our whole family and she is the strongest woman I know. I was blessed with being a visionary from a very, very young age, knowing that my parents had faults but I can see them trying their hardest to provide. As kids, all we really ever needed was their love and that's exactly what we got. I saw things and understood my parents long before my peers hit puberty. With great knowledge came great responsibility, and for that I stuck to her side. I was blessed to have my mom all to my self at a time in both our lives where change was great and the opportunity to become greater women was upon us. AND IT WAS A BLAST!!!!!
I, as a teenager, coming into my own and my mom as a new divorcee, having the chance to reinvent herself. She brought her wisdom from the years and I was able to bring a fresh insight and perspective to the world around us. We were a lethal combination of goofy laughter with witty punch. If we were a cocktail we be mimosas! Vitamin C with bubbles!!!! She helped me become a woman and I helped her find the happy, inner child of letting go.
Mom, I know you're going to read this. I love you so much! I only hope I can be half the woman you are to me. You are so kind and wise beyond your generation and have a heart bigger than the universe. I know you are conditioned to always tell me what to do and how to do it and I will always appreciate that because it means you love me. I can't wait to bless you with grand-babies and enjoy the many continuous chapters of our lives.
Humbly, Merry Ms Berry (baby dinky)
June 23, 2011
Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a.......nevermind!
A wonderful girlfriend on mine who I love love love asked for this particular topic to be covered. When to take a break. This is specifically for those who are single and just "dating".
Somewhere between soap operas and Cosmopolitan magazines, women came up with this idea that it's NOT okay to be alone. And I say WHY THE HELL NOT?!?! Whether you are just new to the world of being single, a single parent trying to make ends meet or have had a string of unsuccessful potentials fall by the way side, sometimes you just need the relationship crap to stop.
If you have ever felt defeated, exhausted or just plain annoyed with the thought of another date or dealing with another whiny guy's issues, you have reached that point. Take a break! More times than not, when one relationship ended I did NOT want another one to deal with. I had thoughts and feelings of my own that needed to be sorted out and repaired. Why should I have to put my feelings aside just because someone wants to give me attention? Well, maybe I don't want your attention. Maybe I don't want to deal with you. Maybe I just want to sit at home with my dog and zone out on a blank wall....IN PEACE!
Everyone needs time to heal and regroup, or just figure out what's next. I have found that it's in that time of being alone with my thoughts is when I truly got to know myself and really learn what I wanted more for and from myself. If you are not happy with yourself, you are not going to make anyone truly happy and no one will make you truly happy. How can you expect someone to love the little intricacies of you if you don't love them yourself? Taking time for just yourself repairs so much more than broken hearts. It gives you the opportunity to change yourself into someone stronger and wiser. You can reflect from an outsider's point of view, as if you have an out of body experience, floating above yourself, and seeing things with a whole new set of eyes. It's quite wonderful. Also, it gives you the chance to really figure out what you want next. Whether that be nothing at all or creating the perfect soul mate in your mind. If you don't know exactly what you want then how is the universe supposed to bless you with it?
Don't listen to those people that tell you that you NEED to be with someone. You NEED to do what you are COMFORTABLE with. If you get queasy thinking about putting an effort towards relationship bull-doodie then.....DON'T DO IT. I know plenty of people who are at peace with just being with themselves knowing that when they are ready for more then they just switch gears and put the vibe out. Being or trying to be in a relationship should be fun and exciting, not like a job with constant worry or dread. Also, I've found that after taking time for yourself when you are ready great people will just drop into your life, kinda a like a prize for the universe say "Good job, have a present."
Cosmically yours, Merry Ms Berry
Don't listen to those people that tell you that you NEED to be with someone. You NEED to do what you are COMFORTABLE with. If you get queasy thinking about putting an effort towards relationship bull-doodie then.....DON'T DO IT. I know plenty of people who are at peace with just being with themselves knowing that when they are ready for more then they just switch gears and put the vibe out. Being or trying to be in a relationship should be fun and exciting, not like a job with constant worry or dread. Also, I've found that after taking time for yourself when you are ready great people will just drop into your life, kinda a like a prize for the universe say "Good job, have a present."
Cosmically yours, Merry Ms Berry
June 22, 2011
Pain is there to learn from
We all will experience pain, both physical and emotional. Pain is part of God's tests. You see in it movies all the time. Someone is stripped of everything and everyone they love or think they have control of, only to learn a different and bigger lesson of life and always down a completely different path then what they "wanted". Your plan more times than is not His plan. Needs and wants are forcefully examined by these trying experiences in one's life.
From an very early age I've experienced a lot of both mental, emotional and physical pain. Coincidentally, all this pain actually fed off of each other. I had to learn to let go of what ever emotional pain that I was torturing myself with to feel the physcial pain go away. I was that child & then teenager, that was worried about the world around them. What did people think of me? Was my family going to be okay? Am I good enough for their love? I always put other peoples' feeling before my own. These are things that some adults don't care to bother themselves with. But I came to find out how blessed I truly was to have the strength as a young girl to carry such burdens in my heart. Because now as a grown woman I am able to share my lessons through letting my pain go to end up at peace with myself and my physical body. Not too many people can say that.
From the stress that I caused myself in relationships, whether with my parents, friends, or teachers, I ended up with severe muscle knots in my entire back, causing my whole bone structure to shift. This shift lead to hip problems, grinding knees and faulty ankles, not to much excruciating pain back. Pain where there were days I couldn't get out of bed. That worry also led to ulcers. Stabbing, debilitating ulcers that would throw me to the ground. Still all of this didn't stop me from being active in sport. It just meant knee braces and a lot of drugs to keep the pain bearable.
And here's the thing about all of it, no one knew about it. I told almost no one. It wasn't until I was physically unable to hold myself up is when people would take notice. Yes, my family knew some of this pain, but I never looked for anyone's sympathy. Why should I put more stress on the people I loved because of my pain? After a few mental breakdowns and actual breakthroughs I was able to come to the realization that no amount of worrying or control was ever going to help anything or anyone. People were going to be people and the world was going to continue whether or not I cared myself into sickness. God has a plan and I learned to trust that plan.
I started to take care of me and only me. Yes, I still loved and respected my friends and family but it was not my job to protect them from themselves. It took it upon myself to respect myself as much as I did them. After all, who was protecting me? No one. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves. I readily available, in case they needed me. And guess what happened when I started to focus on just me and not the anguish of the world. I started to get better. Slowly. I learned about calm breathing, meditation, smokey festivities, talking and sharing your thoughts and fears. Writing poetry, painting pictures, taking walks or just lying there in silence to let my thoughts clear or let the tears flow. OMG!!! Crying!!! More people need to cry! It's one the most emotional freeing experiences ever! It connects you to others, you can feel what they feel. It's emotions turned into something physical. Cry out your anger and it's like a fog is lifted and you can see your answers in front of you.
If you are not learning from your pain, you're not learning how to live. Learn to let go and thank your blessing that you are strong enough to go through the pain. Because in the end you will go through it and end up better on the other side.
live and love life, Merry Ms Berry
From an very early age I've experienced a lot of both mental, emotional and physical pain. Coincidentally, all this pain actually fed off of each other. I had to learn to let go of what ever emotional pain that I was torturing myself with to feel the physcial pain go away. I was that child & then teenager, that was worried about the world around them. What did people think of me? Was my family going to be okay? Am I good enough for their love? I always put other peoples' feeling before my own. These are things that some adults don't care to bother themselves with. But I came to find out how blessed I truly was to have the strength as a young girl to carry such burdens in my heart. Because now as a grown woman I am able to share my lessons through letting my pain go to end up at peace with myself and my physical body. Not too many people can say that.
From the stress that I caused myself in relationships, whether with my parents, friends, or teachers, I ended up with severe muscle knots in my entire back, causing my whole bone structure to shift. This shift lead to hip problems, grinding knees and faulty ankles, not to much excruciating pain back. Pain where there were days I couldn't get out of bed. That worry also led to ulcers. Stabbing, debilitating ulcers that would throw me to the ground. Still all of this didn't stop me from being active in sport. It just meant knee braces and a lot of drugs to keep the pain bearable.
And here's the thing about all of it, no one knew about it. I told almost no one. It wasn't until I was physically unable to hold myself up is when people would take notice. Yes, my family knew some of this pain, but I never looked for anyone's sympathy. Why should I put more stress on the people I loved because of my pain? After a few mental breakdowns and actual breakthroughs I was able to come to the realization that no amount of worrying or control was ever going to help anything or anyone. People were going to be people and the world was going to continue whether or not I cared myself into sickness. God has a plan and I learned to trust that plan.
I started to take care of me and only me. Yes, I still loved and respected my friends and family but it was not my job to protect them from themselves. It took it upon myself to respect myself as much as I did them. After all, who was protecting me? No one. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves. I readily available, in case they needed me. And guess what happened when I started to focus on just me and not the anguish of the world. I started to get better. Slowly. I learned about calm breathing, meditation, smokey festivities, talking and sharing your thoughts and fears. Writing poetry, painting pictures, taking walks or just lying there in silence to let my thoughts clear or let the tears flow. OMG!!! Crying!!! More people need to cry! It's one the most emotional freeing experiences ever! It connects you to others, you can feel what they feel. It's emotions turned into something physical. Cry out your anger and it's like a fog is lifted and you can see your answers in front of you.
If you are not learning from your pain, you're not learning how to live. Learn to let go and thank your blessing that you are strong enough to go through the pain. Because in the end you will go through it and end up better on the other side.
live and love life, Merry Ms Berry
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