A wonderful girlfriend on mine who I love love love asked for this particular topic to be covered. When to take a break. This is specifically for those who are single and just "dating".
Somewhere between soap operas and Cosmopolitan magazines, women came up with this idea that it's NOT okay to be alone. And I say WHY THE HELL NOT?!?! Whether you are just new to the world of being single, a single parent trying to make ends meet or have had a string of unsuccessful potentials fall by the way side, sometimes you just need the relationship crap to stop.
If you have ever felt defeated, exhausted or just plain annoyed with the thought of another date or dealing with another whiny guy's issues, you have reached that point. Take a break! More times than not, when one relationship ended I did NOT want another one to deal with. I had thoughts and feelings of my own that needed to be sorted out and repaired. Why should I have to put my feelings aside just because someone wants to give me attention? Well, maybe I don't want your attention. Maybe I don't want to deal with you. Maybe I just want to sit at home with my dog and zone out on a blank wall....IN PEACE!
Everyone needs time to heal and regroup, or just figure out what's next. I have found that it's in that time of being alone with my thoughts is when I truly got to know myself and really learn what I wanted more for and from myself. If you are not happy with yourself, you are not going to make anyone truly happy and no one will make you truly happy. How can you expect someone to love the little intricacies of you if you don't love them yourself? Taking time for just yourself repairs so much more than broken hearts. It gives you the opportunity to change yourself into someone stronger and wiser. You can reflect from an outsider's point of view, as if you have an out of body experience, floating above yourself, and seeing things with a whole new set of eyes. It's quite wonderful. Also, it gives you the chance to really figure out what you want next. Whether that be nothing at all or creating the perfect soul mate in your mind. If you don't know exactly what you want then how is the universe supposed to bless you with it?
Don't listen to those people that tell you that you NEED to be with someone. You NEED to do what you are COMFORTABLE with. If you get queasy thinking about putting an effort towards relationship bull-doodie then.....DON'T DO IT. I know plenty of people who are at peace with just being with themselves knowing that when they are ready for more then they just switch gears and put the vibe out. Being or trying to be in a relationship should be fun and exciting, not like a job with constant worry or dread. Also, I've found that after taking time for yourself when you are ready great people will just drop into your life, kinda a like a prize for the universe say "Good job, have a present."
Cosmically yours, Merry Ms Berry
Don't listen to those people that tell you that you NEED to be with someone. You NEED to do what you are COMFORTABLE with. If you get queasy thinking about putting an effort towards relationship bull-doodie then.....DON'T DO IT. I know plenty of people who are at peace with just being with themselves knowing that when they are ready for more then they just switch gears and put the vibe out. Being or trying to be in a relationship should be fun and exciting, not like a job with constant worry or dread. Also, I've found that after taking time for yourself when you are ready great people will just drop into your life, kinda a like a prize for the universe say "Good job, have a present."
Cosmically yours, Merry Ms Berry
I feel exactly the same way, and you articulated this beautifully (read: not too emphatically but does it ever drive the point home).
ReplyDeleteI think you might like similar posts that I've made, albeit in a far more irreverent and teenagery fashion. Like this one: http://guiltyaschargedorami.blogspot.com/2012/07/summer-things-are-awesome.html