Are you in bed with a bottle?

My blog is about relationships. Not just romantic or friendly relationships, all relationships. And when you decide to turn your back on real living and breathing people to have an obsessive relationship with a man-made substance, such as alcohol, I have a few choice things to say about it, and I have the right to.

I grew up with a father that was an alcoholic for about 1/2 my life...yup 1/2. He past away when I was 25. They say that children of alcoholics have a hard time dealing with themselves and others. We, unknowingly, tend to put themselves in dangerous situations....well its because all we know is inconsistency, cries for attention, abuse, and let downs. It's hard to understand how someone could chose the love for a bottle over the love of their children. But what I do know from walking the line of alcoholism myself is that its not about the outside world and the bliss it contains but the world inside someone's head and the torment it clings to.

So how did I get here? I was blessed to have a consistent loving mother, cut from the cloth of angels. She communicated with me my entire life about how his actions where his and they had nothing to do with me. I was able to take those words and create myself into the person I wanted to be. Without her I would fall into the cliche statistic of people, using my father's addiction as a crutch for not becoming an emotionally stable individual. 

If you are someone battling this situation that you put yourself into, most likely by accident, listen up. Take the steps to love yourself because you are hurting the people that love you. Alcohol DOES NOT numb the pain at all. It actually keeps the pain from leaving. It puts your body and mind in a constant state of influx, confusion and distraction. If you can't focus on what's hurting you how can you move past it? This path is a tormenting road that is as long or as short as you want it. It's a road that is as painful as you let it be. It only takes 1 DAY to decide whether or not you want to be on this road. ONE DAY, because that is all we are given at a time. No more, no less. BUT it's only YOU that can make that decision. Only you! Nothing or no one else in the world can make that decision for you.

If you are someone try to help someone with alcoholism that is not helping themselves, it time to let go. Those that are taking the steps want to help themselves. Those who are not taking those steps are hurting themselves and those that love them. Stop letting yourself get hurt.  Stop letting those who are ungrateful spit in your face. Yes, I said it. If you are a drunk or a user, living under the roof with the set precedent of getting better but you continue to use then its time for you to move on. Stop hurting those people that care about you by slowing killing yourself. Put yourself in their shoes!

Being someone that has walked the walk, I personally believe alcoholism is NOT a disease but a choice. I give 2 "$h!t$" what doctors say. Calling it a disease gives addicts the opportunity to fall back on that statement as an excuse not to take responsibility for their actions. I unfortunately have "that gene" that makes me highly susceptible to addiction but you don't see me making that choice to be an addict.

There's too much love in the world taking a back seat to all the self-hatred. Peek out from underneath the darkness and see us that want to smother you in your God given right to a brighter day.


Firmly yours, Merry Ms Berry (Merry by choice!)