Currently being 31, I have friends married with kids, divorced with kids, married with no kids (like myself), divorced with no kids and plain ol' single or dating. I am seeing a pattern with the single friends that don't want to be single anymore. They feel lost, confused and that dating is getting harder and harder. I know for myself being 31 and where I am in my life, I, too, thought I would be in a different place. Then I remember that everything happens for a reason and God wants me exactly where I am right now.
One thing that I didn't find when it came to finding "the one" I was meant to be with is I really needed to find myself first. I find that when we know what we want in ourselves, its usually what we want in a mate/lover/partner/soul mate. The difficult thing about that is we are totally different people in our 30's than when we were in our 20's. In our 20's we didn't worry about marriage, mortgages, kids and insurance. Ok, some of us had to and some of us didn't. Most of us were so carefree that finding someone to be with just happened and now in our 30's we worry about getting "too old" or we're running out of time or missed "the one" to be with. These are all situations my lovely peeps are struggling with.
I believe that I was blessed to find my soul mate, know that it was him and that our relationship progressed very fast for the "norm" but for us we were so excited to send the rest of our lives together that time was not a concern of ours. But before I re-connected with him I had to dig deep down inside and figure out what I really wanted. Before Reese came into my life, I too, struggled with my identity, it turn getting abused and taken advantage of. It totally sucked!
Here are some easy steps to help you along the process.
1. Analyze your past relationships and figure out why you were in them, what you loved about them, what you didn't like (what you don't want in the next) and what you truly learned from being with that person. This will give you an idea of what you really want to have in the idea of "forever".
2. Make a "perfect soul mate" recipe. Write down all the things you would love to have in your perfect mate. You will find that most of the traits and attributes are surprisingly what you see in yourself or want in yourself. Even play with the superficial because in the end its that face you want to wake up next to every morning.
3. Stop stressing!!!! Let the flow of the universe work for you. If you are spiritual, like I am, have the faith that God received your order and is working to put you 2 together. If you constantly worry about it, it won't happen. Trust and faith are one in the same.
4. Have fun! The second you start living and loving yourself is the moment when your love interest will find their way to you. If you don't have a clear picture of what you want, how can it be delivered to you? Also, you look very pleasing to others when you're having fun and holding yourself with confidence and assurance.
Don't wear concern, worry or desperation on your face because no one wants to be with someone that looks like that, and those who do want to take advantage of you. Hold your ground for "the one", you'll know him or her when you meet them.
Love you! Merry Ms Berry
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