June 3, 2011

Just not "feeling it"?

Everyone has heard the sayings "everything happens for a reason" and "listen to your gut", but here is exactly how and why. A lot of times, especially if you have been burned by a few bad relationships we think that our "gut" might be broken when a lot of times its on high alert. Also when people say they are "keeping their walls up", it is also another defense mechanism that our bodies have. Believe or not your body know what is good for it and what's not, that goes for people in your life, too.

A simple example is when I was ready to date again and this guy I started talking to wanted to progress a relationship quicker than I was ready for. Even though it was a nice ego boost to have someone want me that badly, I still feel rushed and manipulated into something I didn't want. Something just didn't feel right. I had my walls up and I thought if I make this guy jump through hoops he would lose interest and move on his way. Leaving me to keep my distance. But it just got worse from there. It seemed like I broke up with him every 30 days because he was freaking out about me being me. I couldn't get rid of him. Somehow he played on my weak points and let him stay around. I was physically getting sick to my stomach (note), and was losing weight from the stress & my ulcer flaring up (note) and I looked like death warmed over (pale note). I was on edge all the time, my nerves were shot and I jumped everything my phone rang. Ya, he became psycho-stalker dude.

If I had listened to what my body was saying in the beginning, during and even at the end, I would not have had to put myself through all the horribleness of what that psycho did to me. But I endured and came out on top in the end. Why? Because I rock. Jk! Actually I have some amazing friends and family that helped me through it. And it was awesome to learn how the legal system worked (note).

As for "everything happening for a reason"... I had to go through all that pain, torture and the loss of so many friends only to end up finding my soul-mate hubby because of it. Sometimes I think God makes you go through some of the hardest things in the world to watch you fight through it and in the end reward you with the best gift of all, LOVE. Whether love from others or love for yourself. God & your body have Their ways of getting through to you. Listen to them. Just people it might logically look good on paper doesn't mean it mean to be. (Ooooo more of that to come)

Keepin' my eye on you with <3, MerryMsBerry

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