With the age of technology at its most advanced, it seems that people are using less face time to communicate but more time to communicate via email, text message, facebook, instant message (Gchat is my fav) and I've even sent voice messages as an mms. Here's what I found. We are so busy trying to keep our heads above water that we don't always have the chance to communicate face to face which is just fine but that doesn't mean our feelings are any less important and that any mode of communication is less effective than the next. They are all equally wonderful tools, catering to each individual person. (hmm.....video blog berry?)
Hubby and I had a miscommunication the other day and yes we are still learning as a married couple how to learn about one another. I work downtown and he works 2 miles from home, so there is ample time for me to sit and fester in my own bitterness, all the while I have no idea what is going on in his head. I am one that loves to love. I like to make people happy and when the one I love is not happy I take it personally, like I am not a good friend or wife. Even though I should know better not to think like that because hubby is his own man and his emotions are only in his control, I want him to be happy.
While at work (festering), I really needed to convey how I was feeling about the past few days but its hard while sitting in the middle of an office of nosey people. We were on a rollercoaster of emotions and it started to negatively effect me. Now hubby is able to just blurt out whatever is on his mind which I'm glad he's able to. As for myself, I think I am still working through communication issues with past relationships that are keeping me from just letting everything in my head and heart go. There are times where I've offended hubby with just being me, so I am trying to find the balance. So, I did want I know how to do best.....type!
In a series of 3 email, each getting shorter than the next I blurted out everything that I was feeling. The first email was the roughest and most raw, but it had to be. The next 2 emails were the softer parts of me explaining the necessity of the first one and then how my girl feelings were getting to me. And ya know what.....towards the end of the day he called and he saw where I was coming from and we were able to smooth out our issues because all the cards were on the table. It was extremely productive and it felt great to get everything out and discussed without the feelings of hurt, defensiveness or betrayal.
Now if I would have waited to get home to try and have this discussion with him, I know for a fact that it would get blown totally out of proportion, especially since my first email was on the aggressive, killer side of my emotions. He would have acted out in defense and nothing would have gotten solved and there's a good chance I would have thrown a shoe at his smart mouth.
Moral of today's blog......get it out there. It doesn't matter how it gets there, just get it there. Whether phone call, text message, email or carrier pigeon. Feelings and emotions need to be expressed or they will eat you from the inside out, I KNOW THIS for a fact. My ulcer will tell you the story at another time.
Loveloves! Merry Ms Berry
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