I didn't have an easy, stable childhood but it wasn't horrible either. I was able to pick up little nuggets of life from a very early age and for that, I will be forever grateful. My father was a wild man! My father always wanted total control, and over what I will never know. He didn't let anyone talk shit to him, he never backed down from a fight, he would quit jobs if his boss was a jerk, and his opinion was the only right opinion in the house. Now that might seem a little hard to deal with and it kinda was, but it made us see that we have the right NOT to take anyone's shit.
One of the most memorable thing I can remember my dad telling me (which is totally ironic) is that "the only person that can get you mad is yourself".
Now stop and think about it. Only you can get you mad. Who are you giving power to make you change your mood? If you were in a bad mood and wanted to stay in a bad mood the likelihood of me changing that mood to good is slim to none. Yesh? Well how about the other way around? If you are in a good mood and want to stay in a good mood, why you would let someone take that away from you?
Senor douche bag, ex-problem in my life used to call me names and use every insecurity against me to hurt me.....and for a brief time I let him. I let him without knowing that I was. I was giving him time, space and power over my emotions. Then, when a good friend of mine asked me why, I had no answer. Why was I? I have all the power I need to stay happy. If he's going to come after me, physically, I have more than enough friends to defend me (which I honestly did forget). If something were to happen it would happen outside of my control, no matter how I worried or didn't worry. The only control I had was over me. Over not picking up the phone. Over not believing the horrible lies he "tried" using against me. Control over knowing who I am. And complete control over me and the love that I have for myself, my mood and my well being. Not your parents, lovers, friends or strangers can take that away from you!!!!! If someone tries, hang up the phone or kick the bastards in the shin and fart in their face while their down!!!!! Unless you're like me and can't fart on command, then kick to the shin kicking!
You are always in control of you!
Loving yous!!!! Merry Ms Berry
Totally right, as always. Most days I have this on lock, other days I let my weaknesses get the best of me. I don't really know why. The scales are tipped in my favor tho, and my strength is slowly returning. I knew it would be a process-if you can do it, I know I can.
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