Insecurities...you're not just hurting yourself

Whether you're the one freaking out on your loved one or the one being freaked out on, insecurities from either end help NOTHING!!!! At one time, being a psych-major you learn more about your ticks and the ticks of those closest around you (not bug but quirks). You get to psychoanalyze your friends and family, and they really don't get a choice, especially when you have a term paper to write.

A classic example of insecurity issues are having feelings projected out. Feelings and fears are thrown upon others, away from the true owner, onto those around them. Example: a man-whore calling me a slut, even though I never fooled around outside of MY relationships. There are so many examples that I am not going to bother you with them. If you find yourself making someone feel bad because you feel bad about yourself, that's exactly the problem. Bottom line, get out of your own head!!!! Yes, we all have "feelings" about situations, but more times that not, we make up stories in our own heads to justify how we are actually feeling about ourselves.

How do I know this? Because I have been with some of the most insecure weenies ever! Also, I am such an open book and so honest about who I am, faults and all, that people have a tendency to try to make me feel bad about it. People think that just because I am the way I am, that I expect them to be the same. I could care less. If you want to plot, hide and justify whatever you are hiding behind in  your own head, those are your issues and you are welcome to keep them to yourself. If you want to be open and free and NOT get judged for being the real you, then I DO care and want you to feel that you can be that way, especially around me. Embrace the weirdness that is yourself.

If you are not lying, cheating, plotting or conniving, them no one should have you feel bad about being you. If they are, it's because they feel about about themselves and want someone on their level to make themselves feel better. Stop, think and react (if appropriate).

Here's the thing. Whether you spazz out or not, if someone is going to cheat or leave, they will do so. It doesn't matter if you phone stalk them, put them down, lift them or spoil them with love. Some people are just not meant to be together. If a relationships is meant to be, it will be. If you find yourself having to plot against someone then you need to take a step back and move on. Things that are meant to be are work, but it will flow easily. I hope this makes sense. If not, please let me know and I'll give you examples. 

Love Merry Ms Berry