Realizations

It's not supposed to be killer hard to live life. We make it harder on ourselves then it really needs to be. We all do it.

God giveth and God taketh away.

These words constantly rings in my ears.

I had gotten away from the "silver lining game" I grew up with. If you don't appreciate something, it will either leave or be taken away from you. It's a pretty simple concept. I was told these words and it hit me hard. Yes, I was willing to give it all away even though I didn't want to. I was willing to fight for my happiness but I needed to be sure that my other half was willing to fight for his also, together.

I let the world beat me up. I listened to others gripe and let it settle in my heart. I said "why not me". Why can't I be bitter and ungrateful? Then I took a step back and had to think to myself, did I really want to lose the wonderful life I have? I fought so hard to get here. I knew I would be fine wherever I ended up. But did I want to end up somewhere else, alone?

I couldn't even tell you when or how I got off track. I did everything right to have the things that I have. And I'm not saying mansions and sports cars, but I would love me a muscle car. But I have a secure life and home with everything I need to meet my needs and have no stress tailing me. Now how many people can say that?

Why did I stop count my blessings? I guess at one point I didn't feel appreciated and the grass looked greener on the other side. But true to wonderful man fashion, hubby came back to me and started loving me how I needed it. He's wonderful. We are working on the same team. This whole marriage thing is a tough nut to crack.

So here I am. A little bit wiser. A little bit lighter. A whole lot happier. And fulfilled from within at all the blessings I'm surrounded with. I'm able to love those in my life and make them smile. Which is my favorite thing to do. I don't know what the world brings in the future but its doesn't matter. I am at peace right now with what it is. Like my Elisha says, Love never quits. It's true. Love from above, love from them, love that you have to give to yourself and love for others. It's the meaning of life. Love more, receive more. Love them, love you, love it, love love. It's like a hum of a mom rocking her baby to sleep. I could hear it all the time. It makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

Lovingly yours, Truly Merry Ms Berry

Just cuz I give doesn't mean you can always just take from me.

I love to give of myself to others. Not in a dirty, slutty way, but in an emotional, spiritual, monetary, or brainstorming way. I love to share with people. If I have a dollar and you need it, it's yours. If you have a sitaution that needs attending to, I'm here to help look for solutions. I like being that person that people can turn to.

But I do not like people who are leeches, who drain the energy right from your soul. The people who know how nice you are and think they can take advantage of you. Those people in your life that do nothing but complain and dump all their problems on you. The same people that unless you are "going to take care" of them, don't want to be bothered with doing the right thing to help themselves. If you are one of these people....JUST STOP IT!(after rereading this, how do these people know that its them?...haha!)

If you are one of the people that keeps giving and giving and giving and is starting to feel resentful or just feel drained.....STOP giving! It's okay to stop. I give you permission. You have to take care of your FIRST!!! If you are the one that keeps listening to the same problems from people, over and over and over and over, and even though you have given solutions out, nothing changes....stop listening. Let these people figure out their own crap because apparently they don't think they need to listen to you. If you've been having the same conversation for years, it's time to stop having it. It's not going to change. You can be the only one that changes. And trust me, as I type this to you, I am telling myself the same thing.

The world is about balance...giving and taking. If someone is offering you help, take it. If someone is not offering you help don't expect them to drop everything for you. Don't expect people to come to your rescue. If you need rescuing then your problems are way deeper than they appear. If someone offers you help and you turn them down, more times than not the offer will be off the table later. If you are miserable and are constantly having to spill your drama on someone just to listen but in turn you don't heed advice, your problems are YOURS. Those problems aren't going away because of....YOU! When you are concerned about no one but yourself and things don't go your way, of course your world is going to be upside down. Your bubble is a small place to be. Add issues inside the bubble and where do they have to go....NOWHERE! They are going to stick around until you change and LEAVE YOUR BUBBLE!

Here's how to be better, less whiny, less dramatic, adding value to society kind of person. Get off your ass and help someone else out. Ya, I said it!!! Stop thinking about yourself. The world is full of problems, if you try to solve them I promise you that you will feel better about yourself. If you are out in the world trying to make it a better place I promise you that you will find solutions to your own problems. If you are giving of yourself, others will want to give to you. Ya know......BALANCE!!!!!

If you give to just receive you are missing the point. Give because you want to and the universe will want to give to you. When you meet someone like me, don't expect me to save you...you wanna know why? Because I have to make sure that my life and hubby come first. If that is endangered because someone needs saving, that's a sign that no amount of my help is going to save them.  And yes, if you haven't guessed, I have had to deal with exact subject in my own life in the last few days. I've had to say NO. No to watching or listening to people who will not help themselves. I will always love people for being people but it doesn't mean I can save any of them, unless they want to save themselves. I only have what's in my head and my heart. Start digging in my pockets and you're going to pull back a bloody stump...figurative of course.

Bitterly yours, Merry Ms (bite bite) Berry

P.S. If you have a friend that calls you to "just check in to say hi and howdy do", make sure you do that same. It's called being a GOOD FRIEND!

Learning the lessons from Douche Bags

We will all encounter douche bags in our life, whether friend, foe or family. These are people that are so miserable with themselves that they have the need to pull people down with them to their level. I believe that these people are put in our lives by a combination of Divine and Sadistic intervention. These people are consumed by their own self-doubt and they think since they are thinking this way then everyone around them are a) having the same thought b) doing the same things they are or c) have a self righteous attitude and need to be brought down a couple of pegs. People with this mind set are miserable people. They believe they must step on others to go up in life.

I believe that God puts these kinds of people in our lives as tests. Huge, death defying, moral withstanding tests against all of your better judgements. Why? So when you come out the other side you will be rewarded with blessings beyond measure. I believe it's in these situations and experiences is when you are going to learn the most about yourself and those around you. How about a couple examples?

Senor douche bag. A 9 month, on & off, relationship. He was tall and made me laugh. Outside of those 2 traits he had nothing else positive to add to society. If he vanished off the planets we would all breathe a little bit easier. Even though he was very smart and remembered pretty much everything, he used his powers for evil. He found out and used my insecurities and vulnerabilities against me. He knew I had a soft spot and I believed in giving second chances.....which is a case by case basis. It seemed like every month I was trying to break up with him and I would let him crawl his way back in. There were even a few times during the whole mess when he would verbally abuse me with insults so bad I would cry for days. Why did I put up with this? I couldn't even give you a good reason. At the end it had gotten so bad that I had to trick into thinking that he was breaking up with me.....I KNOW! It was pretty funny when he tried to throw that into my face about how "he" broke up with me. Ha! Tard!

He said he wanted to "hurt me as bad as I hurt him". Here's the thing about that cliche line, I never hurt him. He hated himself so bad for "losing" the game that he was playing with me when I decided to leave that he pulled out all the stops. From insults, to threats, to emailing friends lies, to threatening the safety of my dog, there were no low blow punches this guy didn't try. The result of all this madness was losing people out of my life that I thought were my friends.  When I needed them the most (which is rare) they turned their backs on me.

Here comes the great part. It was all worth it!!!! I don't need people in my life that aren't real friends. And, if those supposed, fake, loser people didn't leave, I wouldn't had ventured out onto a social networking site to find old college friends, only to stumble upon my old crush. It started with 1 email. From that one email I am now married to the most amazing man! I had to lose everything that I thought was real (which wasn't) to make room for all the amazing people that stayed and filled up my heart with pure and real joy. Thanks to Senor Douche Bag, he detoxed my life for me. Isn't that wonderful!!!!

We will all go through things we won't understand right away. It's up to you to stay alive with your eyes wide open and be aware that more is coming. More wonderful, crazy, random greatness. Life is all about balance, yesh? Think about it. If you are getting dumped on with nothing but doodie, you will come out on the other end with beautiful, amazingly smelling, gorgeous flowers!!! There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Just remember to look up.

Purposely yours, Merry Ms Berry