I am blessed with many people in my life. There's a good amount of giving and receiving, loving and sharing, fighting and disagreements. This is life! I am also blessed with the continuous opportunity to help people. If people that I care about come to me with a problem or issue, 9 times out of 10 I am able to help them. It's just one of those things. I am happy to share, connect and direct someone to help them out of a negative situation.
With that said.......I am also learning when to turn around, run the other way and let people fall. Why? Because that's what my mom did for me. She gave me the chance to succeed and the chance to fail. She let me hit rock bottom, showered me with love and watched as I clawed my way back up. I earned everything I have, of course getting gifts along the way, but nothing I expected or felt I was entitled to. I am thankful for everything that has ever come into my life. And if I wasn't, it's funny but that stuff is no longer around. Interesting how that works out.
There are people out there that have never felt the pain of a skinned knee, the break of a heart being cheated or the feel of the bottom where all is lost. These kinds of people have been "protected" and spoiled by parents that thought that giving their kids everything will make life easier. In turn, it actually hurts them. It hinders them from really finding out what they are made of. It keeps them from making sound decisions bases on real life experience (since theirs are diluted). They are ungrateful to having to roll up their sleeves and kick some ass when there is ass that needs kicking. I have some of these people in my life. It's really sad to see grown adults who haven't made a sound decision in their life whine about their failures or how things aren't working out because 1) they are not trying hard enough 2) don't know what to do so they don't do anything or 3) are waiting and relying on other people to save them.
Like a mother of an addict, I am an enabler. I am an emotional enabler. I believe that deep down inside everyone knows when the rubber has to meet the road, where the right thing to is harder than the easy thing, and that when push comes to get shit done. Why? Because that's how I am. If I'm like that, shouldn't a lot of other people like that? Ask any of my peoples. If I need to get something done,......it gets done. It's not hard, you just do it. You go out and do it, no matter how hard. The right thing is always better to go than not.
So "these" spoiled individuals come to me in their desperation. I am only one person and can only really save you if you really need saving. I am blessed with people in my life that help me offer other people gifts and blessings that I can share. But, if I give you blessing, that you have asked for, and you throw it back in my face and say it's "not right for your situation", even though it is.....be warned. This is your only warning. You will not only not ever receieve another loving, heart felt gift from me again. I'll make sure you know how lost and delusional you actually are, living in a world that you think that should take care of you. You wanna know who's supposed to take care of you, as an adult.........YOU!!!!
NO ONE ELSE!!!!
Yes, we all far on hard times. This is when you roll up your sleeves, shovel shit out of your way and make things better for yourself. Not sit on your ass and wait until someone else takes care of it for you. I will let you fall. I will watch you fall from grace and have the chance, just like all of us, to find out who you really are. Fight your way back to good and congratulate you for becoming the real you. It's hard, please just fight to be the best you that you can.
Motheringly your, Merry Ms Berry
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
August 12, 2011
June 22, 2011
Pain is there to learn from
We all will experience pain, both physical and emotional. Pain is part of God's tests. You see in it movies all the time. Someone is stripped of everything and everyone they love or think they have control of, only to learn a different and bigger lesson of life and always down a completely different path then what they "wanted". Your plan more times than is not His plan. Needs and wants are forcefully examined by these trying experiences in one's life.
From an very early age I've experienced a lot of both mental, emotional and physical pain. Coincidentally, all this pain actually fed off of each other. I had to learn to let go of what ever emotional pain that I was torturing myself with to feel the physcial pain go away. I was that child & then teenager, that was worried about the world around them. What did people think of me? Was my family going to be okay? Am I good enough for their love? I always put other peoples' feeling before my own. These are things that some adults don't care to bother themselves with. But I came to find out how blessed I truly was to have the strength as a young girl to carry such burdens in my heart. Because now as a grown woman I am able to share my lessons through letting my pain go to end up at peace with myself and my physical body. Not too many people can say that.
From the stress that I caused myself in relationships, whether with my parents, friends, or teachers, I ended up with severe muscle knots in my entire back, causing my whole bone structure to shift. This shift lead to hip problems, grinding knees and faulty ankles, not to much excruciating pain back. Pain where there were days I couldn't get out of bed. That worry also led to ulcers. Stabbing, debilitating ulcers that would throw me to the ground. Still all of this didn't stop me from being active in sport. It just meant knee braces and a lot of drugs to keep the pain bearable.
And here's the thing about all of it, no one knew about it. I told almost no one. It wasn't until I was physically unable to hold myself up is when people would take notice. Yes, my family knew some of this pain, but I never looked for anyone's sympathy. Why should I put more stress on the people I loved because of my pain? After a few mental breakdowns and actual breakthroughs I was able to come to the realization that no amount of worrying or control was ever going to help anything or anyone. People were going to be people and the world was going to continue whether or not I cared myself into sickness. God has a plan and I learned to trust that plan.
I started to take care of me and only me. Yes, I still loved and respected my friends and family but it was not my job to protect them from themselves. It took it upon myself to respect myself as much as I did them. After all, who was protecting me? No one. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves. I readily available, in case they needed me. And guess what happened when I started to focus on just me and not the anguish of the world. I started to get better. Slowly. I learned about calm breathing, meditation, smokey festivities, talking and sharing your thoughts and fears. Writing poetry, painting pictures, taking walks or just lying there in silence to let my thoughts clear or let the tears flow. OMG!!! Crying!!! More people need to cry! It's one the most emotional freeing experiences ever! It connects you to others, you can feel what they feel. It's emotions turned into something physical. Cry out your anger and it's like a fog is lifted and you can see your answers in front of you.
If you are not learning from your pain, you're not learning how to live. Learn to let go and thank your blessing that you are strong enough to go through the pain. Because in the end you will go through it and end up better on the other side.
live and love life, Merry Ms Berry
From an very early age I've experienced a lot of both mental, emotional and physical pain. Coincidentally, all this pain actually fed off of each other. I had to learn to let go of what ever emotional pain that I was torturing myself with to feel the physcial pain go away. I was that child & then teenager, that was worried about the world around them. What did people think of me? Was my family going to be okay? Am I good enough for their love? I always put other peoples' feeling before my own. These are things that some adults don't care to bother themselves with. But I came to find out how blessed I truly was to have the strength as a young girl to carry such burdens in my heart. Because now as a grown woman I am able to share my lessons through letting my pain go to end up at peace with myself and my physical body. Not too many people can say that.
From the stress that I caused myself in relationships, whether with my parents, friends, or teachers, I ended up with severe muscle knots in my entire back, causing my whole bone structure to shift. This shift lead to hip problems, grinding knees and faulty ankles, not to much excruciating pain back. Pain where there were days I couldn't get out of bed. That worry also led to ulcers. Stabbing, debilitating ulcers that would throw me to the ground. Still all of this didn't stop me from being active in sport. It just meant knee braces and a lot of drugs to keep the pain bearable.
And here's the thing about all of it, no one knew about it. I told almost no one. It wasn't until I was physically unable to hold myself up is when people would take notice. Yes, my family knew some of this pain, but I never looked for anyone's sympathy. Why should I put more stress on the people I loved because of my pain? After a few mental breakdowns and actual breakthroughs I was able to come to the realization that no amount of worrying or control was ever going to help anything or anyone. People were going to be people and the world was going to continue whether or not I cared myself into sickness. God has a plan and I learned to trust that plan.
I started to take care of me and only me. Yes, I still loved and respected my friends and family but it was not my job to protect them from themselves. It took it upon myself to respect myself as much as I did them. After all, who was protecting me? No one. We all have to take responsibility for ourselves. I readily available, in case they needed me. And guess what happened when I started to focus on just me and not the anguish of the world. I started to get better. Slowly. I learned about calm breathing, meditation, smokey festivities, talking and sharing your thoughts and fears. Writing poetry, painting pictures, taking walks or just lying there in silence to let my thoughts clear or let the tears flow. OMG!!! Crying!!! More people need to cry! It's one the most emotional freeing experiences ever! It connects you to others, you can feel what they feel. It's emotions turned into something physical. Cry out your anger and it's like a fog is lifted and you can see your answers in front of you.
If you are not learning from your pain, you're not learning how to live. Learn to let go and thank your blessing that you are strong enough to go through the pain. Because in the end you will go through it and end up better on the other side.
live and love life, Merry Ms Berry
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