It's not you, it's me. No really.

We've all heard this line but like it or not it's true. But the fun part about it is that it's true from both sides. It's both of you! Whether it's physical, mental, emotion or spiritual, there's always going to be something that shows itself to let you know a break up is near. AND THAT'S OKAY! Yes, break ups suck. But they can also be exciting. Think about it. Break ups mean a few things. 1) you or the other person is not happy. Which means something better is out there. 2) You have another life changing experience under your belt. 3) You can be recklessly, irresponsibly single. Those all sound like a lot of fun to me!

I know a lot of people who take break ups super hard because they feel like they've failed. Or they feel stupid for picking the wrong mate. Or they think there is something wrong with them. None of those are correct. We choose who we choose at that time because there's something in them that makes us want them. There's nothing wrong in that. We all make mistakes. At one point in your life you chose that person to fulfill something in your heart. If it didn't work out it means that it didn't fill you up enough and the relationship was lacking in other spots. Or you were just too different to work those differences out. Either way....it's OKAY!!!

There was a time when I dated my best friend. Almost instantaneously after the first kiss I knew I had made the wrong decision. Instead of stopping it right there I proceeded to give the relationship a chance for a couple of weeks, but I knew it was going to have to end. Something deep inside screamed and clawed its way out. During the break up talk, I had to tell him it was me because it really was. There were so many wonderful aspects of him but something bigger, stronger and wiser was working against me being with him. That was the hardest conversation that I ever had to have. I was breaking the heart of my best friend. I had to. For the sake of his happiness and that of my own.

All things have a beginning and for the most part all things have an end. It's all of the circle of life. It's just one those things. If you know there's something inside of you that logically doesn't seem to be making sense but emotionally you know you should listen....LISTEN TO IT!!! Sometimes you just have to rip off the band-aid to let the wound heal with some fresh air. If it's meant to be in the future it will. If not, then it won't.

I believe that sometimes dating is like sales. You just have to run the numbers. That and making out with people is totally fun! You are welcome to use my pick up line. "You're cute. Wanna make out?" Worked every time!!You're welcome!

Introspectively yours, Merry Ms Berry

How to exit graciously

Any sort of break up whether its a marriage or fling sucks! It means that there's some sort of rejection. Even if you both realize that its just not meant to be, all those feelings of missing the good over the bad bubble up to the surface and makes us sad or angry. We will all, at one point in our lives, have to deal with some form of rejection. There are 2 ways we can go about this situation, take it personally and have it ruin us for the future or we can understand that this is a part of life and we are just not meant to be in some relationships, whether friendly or romantic.

This post is going to cover how to leave a situation graciously. Now, I'm not saying to ever deny your feelings. If you feel you must throw, kick and scream yourself out of a relationship to feel better, who am I to judge. But if you are like most of us and want to take the easiest way out, below are a few ways to look at it.

1. Always leave on a good note, unless you are breaking up with a lying, cheating, heartless bastard, then leaving on an even higher note, head up, shoulders back, direct eye contact and a big smile. Know in your heart that you deserve more and waaaaaaaaaaay better and kicking this douche out of your life is the best idea ever. (((((INSERT BIG TOOTHY GRIN)))))

2. Be true to yourself. Note the good things in the relationship and appreciate some of the things you've learned together and what you're taking with you.

3. Acknowledge the greatness in differences and know that you are just not meant to be together.

4. Wish the other person luck in the future. More times than not we need to agree to disagree. You get what you give to the world.

5. Share the responsibility. They might have been the lesser participant of the relationship but you are just as responsible of having them there with you. No one person is to blame. (Example, I was with a lying cheating, douche bag of a human being, to put it nicely, but for some messed up reason I allowed him to stay in my life.)

6. Try to find a balance between emotion and logic. You're always going to feel something, its up to you to figure out why you feel the way you do.

I hope that some of these quick but no-so-easy solutions to problems we will all face, whether its a breakup, getting fired, ending a friendship or saying no to a potential first date. God has made us very emotion beings, but not without logic and dignity. Everything happens for a reason. When you find out the reason you were in a certain relationship and why it had to end, I promise you, you will feel so much better. When one chapter ends, turn the page and BAM a new chapter begins. 

Love you! Merry Ms. Berry <3