I have recently let some people in my life go and for a second I felt bad about it. Then I had to take a step back and remember that people are going to come in and out of our lives all the time. Then that also got me thinking about these particular people. I thought about their work ethic, drive to succeed or just to make it on their own 2 feet. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. This is I have always believed in and will instill the same values into my children when I have them. When I have children, there's one particular person I don't believe carries the same morals and values as myself when it comes to kicking ass and taking names, no matter how hard it may be. Do the right thing, not the easy thing. So, I don't want this person around the children (that I don't even have yet) because I do not believe that they would be a good role model. Then why would I want them in my life? Think about it. If there are people in your life that you wouldn't want around your children or future children then why do you keep them in your life? Why do you subject yourself to people who don't bring any value to your life? This also goes for my single parent friends! If you are seeing or thinking about seeing a particular person, is that person good enough to either "be someone you would want your kids with" or even around? And if they are not good enough for them, then why would they be good enough for you? Aren't we supposed to be the role models for the next generation? Aren't we supposed to be the ones that lead by example? If we want the best for our children doesn't that mean we should strive to be the best ourselves and expect the best in others around us? If we surround ourselves with the best, won't our children see that and know that as the norm? Wouldn't they come to be the best and expect the best around them, too? Just a few thoughts from our neighborhood friendly Ms. Berry.
Lovingly, Merry Ms. Berry
Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts
September 4, 2011
May 17, 2011
Choosing vs. chosen
I recently learned that most young girls are not told what to expect and what not to except when it comes to relationships. Even as grown, mature women with children, some just don't know what a good relationship looks like.
Many women friends that I have love my husband and they love to see us together, interacting with our everyday lives. They are always commenting on how we are always there for each other even when we're not in the same room. Or how I've devoted myself to him.....me the free spirit that was never going to be tied down. In the back on my mind I think "you can have all of this too. Why can't you see that?"
Throughout the many relationship and learning experiences in my life, I have always chosen each person to be with. I come to find out that some women are in their relationships because they were chosen first and that should be enough. Is it? Just because someone wants to be with you doesn't you have to be with them. OMG! Could you imagine being in a relationship with everyone that hit on you? Holy shit, that's too much to process.
When being with someone, make sure that not only do they want to be with you but that you want to be with them. Both parties should be making the effort to show one another how very important you or they are. Relationships are not only a 2 way street but a give and take.
Yes, it feels great to be wanted but also feels great to want or miss someone. If you are only filled with needing to be needed then what happens when you are not needed for whatever reason, what else do you have to fall back on? Also that leaves a huge open door to be let down because since you don't have any expectations from them since they did all the "picking" then that leaves everything for interpretation. It's kinda like take what you can get, and you get whatever comes your way. AND THAT IS NO WAY TO LIVE.
Love you! Merry Ms Berry
Many women friends that I have love my husband and they love to see us together, interacting with our everyday lives. They are always commenting on how we are always there for each other even when we're not in the same room. Or how I've devoted myself to him.....me the free spirit that was never going to be tied down. In the back on my mind I think "you can have all of this too. Why can't you see that?"
Throughout the many relationship and learning experiences in my life, I have always chosen each person to be with. I come to find out that some women are in their relationships because they were chosen first and that should be enough. Is it? Just because someone wants to be with you doesn't you have to be with them. OMG! Could you imagine being in a relationship with everyone that hit on you? Holy shit, that's too much to process.
When being with someone, make sure that not only do they want to be with you but that you want to be with them. Both parties should be making the effort to show one another how very important you or they are. Relationships are not only a 2 way street but a give and take.
Yes, it feels great to be wanted but also feels great to want or miss someone. If you are only filled with needing to be needed then what happens when you are not needed for whatever reason, what else do you have to fall back on? Also that leaves a huge open door to be let down because since you don't have any expectations from them since they did all the "picking" then that leaves everything for interpretation. It's kinda like take what you can get, and you get whatever comes your way. AND THAT IS NO WAY TO LIVE.
Love you! Merry Ms Berry
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